Tag Archives: fat

How to Make a Proper BLT Sandwich

Or a BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLT as it were. First, apply spread. Second, carefully place two slices of fresh tomato and crisp lettuce. Third, and maybe most important, pour a bowl containing 10 lbs. of perfectly fried bacon on to the sandwich and cover with the other piece of bread. The last step is pretty self-explanatory. I’ll give you a hint. It starts ...

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“I’m Fat Let’s Party” T-Shirt Celebrates the American Way

I’m a fatty. It’s a fact that’s impossible to hide. I can wear all the black and vertical stripes I want, the fact of my fatness remains. I’m the Buddha Bag of humans. I think it’s time for a change of heart. Instead of hiding my girth, maybe I should embrace it until I build up the motivation to actually ...

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Please Tell Your Pet To Put Down The Fork

Your pet eats its emotions. That much is clear. What sort of pet needs to use a Buddha Bed as their sleeping cushion? Pet obesity is serious business. I’d like to talk to you about your fat pet for a moment. Please, avert your pet’s eyes away from the screen for a few moments. It’s probably not your fault. Who ...

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TiVo Delivers Pizza While You Get Fatter and Wiser

Ordering pizza from the comfort of your couch while watching your favorite television shows on DVR is now a realization. That is, if you’ve got a TiVo. Now that Netflix has bailed TiVo out, TiVo is getting smart by offering its customers a crucial feature that’ll prevent them from leaving their seat: pizza. A new Domino‘s widget is available for ...

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Weight-Loss Belt For Fatties

Are you an overwhelming fat ass that just can’t shred those pounds because going to the gym is another chore on your list of things you won’t do? Well, your prayers have been answered! The Vibro Shape slimming belt is said to rid you of your beer-belly in favor of some sexy washboard abs. The belt can also be used ...

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Overall Health Balance Scale Rates Your Health, Deflates Your Ego

Hey, fatty / string bean / muscle man / average weight person or otherwise. Yeah, I’m talking to you. Why must you lie to yourself? You think you’re so healthy, but trust me, there must be something wrong with you. And whatever it is, you bet your ass the Overall Health Balance Scale finds it and taunts you with it. ...

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TAD Custom Ring For Fingering Touchscreens More Effectively

The touchscreen community has been pretty unsympathetic to the fat fingered crowd. For people with sausage sized digits, pressing one key on a touchscreen keypad is usually accompanied with the pressing of a second button and the escape of a fucking expletive from their lips. The TAD Custom Finger Mod slides a ring on your finger with an attached screen ...

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A machine that plots graphs to show how fast you are gaining weight

We  really have no idea what the inventor was thinking about, when we’re having image problems we already feel bad enough about ourselves and the last thing we need is a machine to rub it in! Tanita is going to start selling this weight measurer that not only tells you how overweight you are, but also your body fat content, ...

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