Unicorn Meat: An Alternative Source of Protein and Magic

And now back to our usual scheduled programming. I’m really trying to bulk up my muscles for the summer. Gotta look good in my mankini! I just get so sick of the same old protein sources every single day. Chicken, eggs, more chicken, even more eggs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a man who loves his eggs, but mostly when they’re fried in a lake of butter, served with a side of bacon.

Now here’s a source of protein I can really stand behind. Canned Unicorn Meat offers up your daily source of protein, along with a healthy dose of giggles and sunshine. Each part of the unicorn is used to create this beautiful block of preserved meat, including crunchy bits of magical horn bits. I even feel all fancy eating it since it’s imported straight from County Meath, Ireland. Head over to the source link to get a great “Savory Unicorn & Heirloom Tomato Bruchetta” recipe which I highly recommend.

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  1. Taste like chicken

  2. awesome,,,I am so hungry now…can i get a side of leprechaun?

  3. omg wow 🙂 i want one (unicorn that is) alive-

    sara edinburgh

  4. This just made my day.

  5. goes excellent with deep fried fairy toes and garnished with a lovely magic mushroom demiglaze.

  6. Hahaa I love how Rainbows comes from its ass… Seriously, Made my day!

  7. Oh my stars that funny in a sad killer of dreams sort of way!

  8. I want to know about the “Superglue” portion…

  9. Oh my, crunchy horn bits……… sounds inviting.

    you guys drank Newater from Singapore, it also comes with nutty bits ?

  10. …yeaaah! do you sell it as pills too?

  11. That is just pure awesomeness right there. Radiant Farms – haha!

  12. What are you talking about jo, (#2). Leprechauns arent real.

  13. Yeah huh… huh…., let’s EAT it!!!

  14. Yey!! I’m from County Meath, Ireland!! Ain’t seen no unicorns though??!! Hmmm… if I were cleverer(er) i’d venture a guess that this is a scam!! Gonna stick to my eggs and protein shakes just incase!! Oh and if Popeye thought us anything, plenty of iron too (either that or the skit from Family Guy was right and they were giant tumors on his arms!!)!! Oh well, back to what has only ruined my life… stumbling!!

  15. Caution! Eating this stuff will turn you from a Great Hulking American Neaderthal into a rice and veggies eating intellectual of slight build and fast mind! You may even want to study math, Science and technology afterwards! Youmight even trow out your ‘Elvis’ collection and sell your pick-up truck! You could get caought riding and electric bike in short pants!

  16. my daughter heart would break…where did mr. sparkles go?

  17. this just made me gay

  18. wow, that’s by far the best reference to unicorns ever. EVER.

  19. Hahaha, an excellent source of sparkles.

  20. So would twilight vampire meat also contain sparkles when exposed to sunlight?

  21. Those sparkles play hell with my fillings.

  22. Finally! I’ve been searching all over for something with my recommended daily allowance of sparkles. That’s the best part!

  23. scientifically proven, i used to hunt these in my backyard in minot, nd

  24. Oh, dear. I am horrified at the idea of eating a unicorn!. Seems that we cant leave anything alone. If we dont eat it, we shag it. Sorry.

  25. super glue lol!

  26. Damn… Sparkles give me the runs

  27. friggin’ hilarious i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Well I’m from Oxford and we’ve seen some green alligators and long necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees, some cats and rats and elephants as sure as you’re born; but we just ain’t seen no unicorns.
    Where are they hiding these creatures? Hogwarts?

  29. Way too expensive for more than the occasional treat…over $11/lb.! Unicorn Helper anyone?

  30. fuck me hard up the ass.

  31. wow the superglue is for fixing broken hearts i need that unicorn….

  32. dildo is a very sad person

  33. CuriousDevotchka

    Nom nom nom, do want.

  34. You missed that it is hallucinagenic and also slimming. It has also been proven to make people more attractive to the opposite sex and increase their wealth. Pink versions are rarer but have even less of the magical ingredients thus increasing the power that hey possess.

  35. I’ll stick with my flying pig B.B.Q. ,Its the meat of summer for all.

  36. Stolen content from ThinkGeek, only a tiny credit tag? GG Gearfuse

  37. Bear: There’s a watermark on the picture, ThinkGeek is one of the post’s tags and the main link is to ThinkGeek’s product page. How is that stolen content?

  38. It looks nothing like the picture

  39. Tasted great but gave me the runs.

  40. Harvested Humanely
    Delicate and yet savory….and the giggle bits are to die for…
    washed down with my favorite fizzy tea!

  41. Is this stuff grass-fed? I only eat the grass-fed stuff.

  42. Typical. They take something pure and unadulterated and put it in a can with God-knows-what-else mixed in there. Judging by the side of the can, the ingredient list looks pretty long.

  43. That looks tasty,but once you’ve tried the Kobe Unicorn in Japan…well lets just say I used to be a vegetarian!

  44. It’s better to stuff your dead unicorn into an icebox, then sacrifice him to your god for massive brownie points. Then, you can use its horn to cure all sorts of ailments, unless you have several unicorn horns lying around, in which case it’s great to polymorph them into useful things like magic markers.

  45. Warning do not eat after minight

  46. gay


  47. Stupid, yet magical. Just like me! (jk) Wow, if i could meet anybody on the planet, i would NOT choose the person who invented this cause their probably messed. lolz XD

  48. My math teacher ordered this stuff as a joke for our Algebra class, I really want to know if you can eat it…lol

  49. This is too brilliant, I had to put it on my blog! But I also had to add some fine print to make sure people knew I wasn’t endorsing killing unicorns or eating them. http://faithseptember.blogspot.com/2010/12/glitter.html

  50. It says product of Ireland
    So we all have to go there and protest at the factory:) save the unicorns:) save the unicorns:) hahaha

  51. Great for a full rainbow spectrum of glitter.

  52. As far as finding unicorns…it’s easy…just take the ‘second star on the right and straight on until morn’

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