Bulletproof Heart Will Save Your Poor Emo Soul

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If you’ve been looking for that perfect gadget to give your little bratty 12-year-old daughter who just happens to find My Chemical Romance “mucho suave,” as the kids say these days, the bulletproof heart, designed by Jörg Höltje, might be just the ticket to insure she is the coolest little hipster bitch in her middle school. Strategically designed to ward off bullets to her most sensitive organ, even the slightest squinty-eyed look from one of the Jonas Brothers should be properly shielded.

Now, as from protecting anyone from actual bullets? That’s a little trickier to explain. See, if they just happen to get shot anywhere but the heart, they’re pretty much screwed. But you could make the argument that the only thing worth living for is your heart anyway, or something like that? Whatever dude. Where’s my Taking Back Sunday album? Bonus: Would look great with the sissy Urban Security Suit.

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