This is what I imagine would happen if your Goldfish died from obesity and got stuck as you tried to flush it town the shower drain, stuck because of its massive girth. Stuck like Winnie the Pooh’s fat ass in his window. Stuck like my junk in a beer bottle. Don’t ask, please.
And let me just assure. This is much more comfortable to use than the fishy butt plug. At least that’s what I hear. *wink* *wink*
Having trouble creating characters for your next best-selling fantasy novel? Never fear. The Characters for and Epic Tale Postcard chart is perfect for such a situation. Everyone is there, main and side characters, from “the hero” to “the magic cow” (actually not quite familiar with that one).
I can’t tell you how many jams this thing has gotten me out of.
People need to measure stuff. There’s no denying that. And to the best of my knowledge, doctors still aren’t removing splinters out of your schlonger for free. So it is with a great relief that the old school wooden ruler has finally wizened up and gotten itself a digital display.
Push down on the edge of the device to mark where you want to measure and the ruler’s circuitry does the rest.
I hear that rulers are also useful for purposes other than measuring your junk. I remain a skeptic.
A narcissists dream, the Self-Portrait Machine takes a photo of the user and transfers the picture into a drawn image of themselves. The catch is that the user is actually the one that does all the drawing, as they are physically attached to the machine. The machine itself performs a little dutch rudder action, guiding the user’s hand along the page.
If you’ve always wanted to be a talented portrait artist and never had a lick of talent, the Self-Portrait Machine not only allows you to draw, but damn well forces you to. Check out more pics and a video after the jump.
It’s a brick world, baby. But some gadgets, believe it or not, are better left un-brick-ified. While this LEGO Safe looks killer, I sincerely doubt that it would do much good protecting your valuables. The most I would store in here is maybe a few other LEGO bricks, some spare change, perhaps you could throw your stash in as well.
Despite its fragility, this is one awesome piece of work. Check out the video after the jump to scope out the safes intricacies. Even cooler? You can make your own. Yes, kids. There is a step-by-step DIY tutorial.
You can’t get much more authentic than this. These Money Bag Wallets are made of authentic old-timey vintage money bags. The same type of bag you can see thieves swipe from the back of an armored vehicle in those brand new “moving pictures” I’ve been hearing so much about.
The product page warns that some of the bags do show signs of their age, though are all together in great shape. Grab your own for $35 from Etsy.
The future geeks of America are going to have about as much patience to learn in school as a mouse has patience to escape a mouse trap. Technology has minimized patience to a minimum, thanks to the speed of now. So, how are we going to teach future generations the essentials? Such as reading.
The A-Z of Awesomeness caught my attention right away, so I just know that a 12-year-old boy would just be sucked right in. Me and my Vietnamese boy slave have about the same patience level. In other words? This is the education method of the future! Check out more alphabetical awesomeness after the jump.
Looking for some much needed flash to accompany you in academia? The ultra-realistic Lined Paper Pencil Case is designed to look like a fresh piece of standard lined paper.
The only hazard I could find with this case is that it could easily be confused with a stray scrap of paper and chucked into the trash. Just keep an eye on what you’re writing on or your homework might wind up on your case.
These bandages take a page right from the book of Stryper, the most metal of metalest bands ever. Battle wounds are part of the metal world. When you have fans throwing broken beer bottles at the stage, it’s sort of difficult not to get a boo-boo every once in a while.
But what’s a metal guitarist to do? A simple old band aid won’t cut it. Hell, even duct tape bandages aren’t hardcore enough. These Leather Bandages should fit right in with your full-body pleather jumpsuit.
So here’s the deal. Apparently, the Thai people really, really love pandas. They love pandas so much that they are willing to paint their national animal, the elephant, to look just like over-sized smelly versions of the cuddly bears.
Keepers of Thailand’s Ayutthaya Elephant Kraal threw some paint on five of these huge rodentphobic mammals and paraded them through the streets, much to the pleasure of the Thai school children. Some seen to think that the elephant keepers have gone a little too far. But I look at it this way, at least these elephants aren’t being processed for meat, skin and ivory. I think the elephants look pretty happy considering. More pics after the jump.
