Bottle ‘Staches: Because You’re Jealous of Your Mom’s Facial Hair

Just because your mother has more facial hair than you do doesn’t make you any less of a man. Weak facial hair is unfortunate, but not really something you can change through pure willpower alone.

Bottle ‘Staches attach right onto your bottle of soda pop, creating the illusion of a well-formed mustache under your schnoz as you drink your icy beverage. The ‘staches are available in several different mustache styles, including the Dali (also known as the Stromboli) and the box car.

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