Tag Archives: steve-jobs

Steve Jobs Has Hormonal Problems

Steve Jobs is a lot like a teenage girl. He is all about the outfits, obsesses about his foes and is dealing with hormone issues. Wait, what? That’s right. The Wall Street Journal posted this excerpt of a statement from Steve Jobs: my doctors think they have found the cause a hormone imbalance that has been robbing me of ...

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Steve Jobs Not Going To Macworld, Apple’s Last Year

Just about every major news outlet is reporting that Steve Jobs will not be speaking at the Macworld Keynote in January. Apple has also gone on record to state that 2009 will be the last year it will present at Macworld. Huge news; so huge that Apple’s stock is taking a huge beating while rumors of Jobs’ health swirl about. ...

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Steve Jobs Is Not Dead

The Internet can be hazardous to your health. Such is the case when some random prankster decided to fabricate a lie that said Apple CEO Steve Jobs suffered a heart attack. Shortly after, Apple’s mouthpiece stated that the rumors just simply weren’t true. Why do people make this shit up? I can think of nothing less funny than a heart ...

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The 60 Second Apple Roundup

So I missed Jobs’ entire speech/event because I was at class receiving my education. Here’s what happened: Steve Jobs comes out, cracks jokes, spits out stats Jobs jokes about his death, iTunes, songs, etc. HD on iTunes, $1.99, $2.99 – NBC back on iTunes Speaking of iTunes, iTunes 8 announced. Talks about Genius. Available today iPod talk – 90% of ...

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Steve Jobs Is Dead

Bet that headline scared you a bit, eh? Now imagine you’re an Apple shareholder and you’re reading Bloomberg, one of the most respected financial journals in the world. Apple is lucky it didn’t lose a quarter of it’s value after Bloomberg ran an obituary for Steve Jobs by accident. The gaffe was reported on last night and although Bloomberg has ...

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Steve Jobs Comes Clean, Admits MobileMe Launch Sucked

Ars Technica has gotten a hold of an internal e-mail sent out to Apple employees yesterday. It’s from Steve Jobs and guess what? He’s not very happy about MobileMe. Not at all. In fact, Jobs thinks that MobileMe should have been rolled out piece-by-piece or delayed somewhat. He says the launch was “not up to Apple’s standards.” “It was a ...

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Steve Jobs Finally Speaks

After pissing off investors, causing Apple stock to fall and acting shadier than Mickey Rourke after posting bail, Steve Jobs has finally spoken on the issue of his personal health. He claims he is fine and doesn’t have cancer and that everyone should mind they’re fucking business, essentially. This lets everyone breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that Apple’s famous ...

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Steve Jobs Health Still In Question

Investors won’t buy your stock if they think your CEO is going to croak the following year. After the WWDC conference in June, Apple reps blamed Jobs’ more than unusual thin build on an unspecified illness that required antibiotic treatment. Despite repeated requests, company officials are not commenting on the status of Jobs’ ailment. Jobs is a survivor of pancreatic ...

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