Stink Tree Table Is Broken

Five pieces of wood stuck together yet divided by a fissure and you call it the “stink tree?” This outlandish hippie coffee table was designed by Dylan Gold who says, “Don’t spill your drink.” My response? Don’t construct a table with a fucking crack in it. It would be like a chalkboard with a gap in the center which can’t be written on.

In other words, it’s useless. Unless of course you’re so in love with trees that you would buy a coffee table with a tree-shaped hole right in the center. The ’60s are over, alright? Jerry died and it’s time for your bath.
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About Mohit


  1. Lay a piece of Beveled glass over the table. -Big Fucking Crack problem solved. LOL

  2. Yea, they mention that alternative; but it’s still a hideous table.

  3. Francine Phillips


    You’re a good writer, but Dylan Gold is a better designer and WAY too young to be a hippie.

    But I’m not. You better watch it, Ryan, or Treebeard will get his posse after you. It’s a GREAT table.

  4. Touche, Francine. Thanks for the comment.

  5. Cynicism does not become you, Ryan. The table is not that awful. In fact, in the right setting it would fit quite nicely. Also, many great designers are or were hippies, so climb down off our back and chill, dude.

  6. Heeeeyyyy….
    Avoid the condescending hippie or jerry garcia comments; I also have opinions. I know about the small thing in your pants and what you don’t do with it because you are such an asshole!

  7. It’s a great design but in the eyes of a USA Neanderthal of cause way above his head. Most probably last time he voted for Bush and destroyed his country with him.

  8. i, too, have to disagree with you. pity you can’t recognize a creative design when you see one.

  9. wouldntpayforthistable

    I never even heard of a stink tree but I would lay my drink on it. Leave Jerry alone.

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