I’m a realist. I’m not going to promise my kid they can do whatever they want, because in reality, they’re likely never going to grow wings out of their asshole and fly. And even more realistic, they’ll almost positively never be President of the United States. I’d say the asshole wings have better odds then that. So I’ve decided that my kid will have their very own Young Explorer workstation by Little Tikes.
Costing around $2,600, baby’s first cubicle is actually meant for use in pre-schools, but my kid will be spoiled. They’ll have their very own cubicle right in the comfort of their playroom. Now finish your bottle and get me my damn TPS report.