Tag Archives: penis

A Mouse You Can Make Love To: The G Point Mouse Looks Like The Female Naughty Place

As far as anatomical models go, you don’t see many vagina-themed objects. Sure, you’ve got your male sex toys and your science class anatomically correct scale model, but where are all the vagina-inspired goodies. The ratio between penis and vagina-themed gadgets is unsettling at best and terrifying at worst. I guess vagina’s just aren’t as funny as a huge shaft? ...

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Nuclear Evolution T-Shirt Proves The Future Will Be Fun

Apparently the nuclear wars of the future will force are penises to evolve into vestigial appendages resembling a foot. Look, when I prayed to wake up with a foot-long in my pants, this wasn’t quite what I meant, dude. Sadly, this fore-telling shirt doesn’t say who’s first to drop the bomb. My money’s on the Polish. Well, that’s not entirely ...

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Old School Wooden Ruler With Digital Display

People need to measure stuff. There’s no denying that. And to the best of my knowledge, doctors still aren’t removing splinters out of your schlonger for free. So it is with a great relief that the old school wooden ruler has finally wizened up and gotten itself a digital display. Push down on the edge of the device to mark ...

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Jaws XXX: Man Shark Turns Your Peeper Into a Predator

Vaginas aren’t the only genitals that can grow teeth. Watch out ladies, my penis is very hungry. Hope you’re not bleeding! Sharks can sense that you know. The Man Shark is basically a cock-ring with jagged (albeit, gentle) teeth, creating the illusion of the dreaded cockious sharkus. If you want to scare off almost any girl, this is a perfect ...

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Noby Noby Boy

Noby Noby Boy is the latest upcoming title from Katamari Damacy creator Keita Takahashi. It’ll be hitting the Playstation Network in early 2009 and most of us will buy it. Why? You’ll be stretching a colorful rainbow penis around in 3-D space for hours. Twirl it around, make it into a pretzel, whatever. Compete against people online to see who ...

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Stretch Your Cock Like A Champion

Do you have a small penis? Have you tried every pill known to man that claims to increase male enhancement? Do penis enlargement pumps hurt your manhood? Then you desperately need the PEP (Penis Enlargement Pants). OK, so it’s more like underwear. No matter, because it still claims to increase the size of your genitalia by stretching your wang while ...

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Flying Penis! Duck!

Perhaps the greatest use of a remote controlled device in history: a flying penis flew into the middle of a speech from former chess master and Russian political activist, Garry Kasparov. It seems someone took the time to turn an RC helicopter into a flying cock. After the security guard swatted it to the ground, Kasparov says, “I think we ...

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Contex iCondom Gag Gift About A Year Too Late

Apparently, the iPhone is still fodder for shitty jokes and tasteless products. Case in point: the iCondom. With a box strikingly similar to Apple’s flagship telecommunications device, it’s no humongous 3G iPhone but it’s packed with goodies that are meant to be touched. iMemory, iLight, iTree and iFood are all part of the iCondom package. Allow me to inform you ...

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The Teeny Weeny USB Drive

Normally, when new USB drive hits the market, it’s not cause for concern in the slightest. But I have a feeling that this particular one-gigabyte drive will not only turn heads like that $300,000 watch you wish you owned, but will also encourage females to hop on your genitalia and ride you like a ferris wheel. Now look at that ...

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