SnuzNLuz Alarm Clock will get your ass out of bed

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Be afraid…be very afraid. The SnuzNLuz Alarm Clock teaches you to be more punctual in one of the most torturous ways possible. SnuzNLuz connects directly to your bank account and donates money to an organization you can’t stand every time you oversleep. The example used is the GOP. For all we care you can set it to be the NAACP. Whatever gets your ass out of bed and keeps your money in check.

Though if you do decide to order a SnuzNLuz, we suggest donating money to the “feed the Gearfuse writers” fund. All proceeds will be used to feed me. Setup is easy. The clock is equipped with Ethernet and WiFi capabilities and it supports over 1600 different banks, so yours is probably there. ThinkGeek offers these donation ideas:

Are you a butcher? Set your SnuzNLuz to donate to PETA.
Are you a republican? Set your SnuzNLuz to donate to the ACLU!
Are you a land developer? Set your SnuzNLuz to donate to the Wilderness Society!
Enjoy your freedom? Set your SnuzNLuz to donate to the GOP.
Are you a hippie? Set your SnuzNLuz to donate to the American Coal Foundation.
Are you a Ninja? Set your SnuzNLuz to donate to, hrrrm, we can’t find a Pirate Charity at the moment. But there must be one somewhere anyways, the point is it’s easy to setup once you identify your enemy!

We’d like to add “Are you not an asshole? Set your SnuzNLuz to donate to Gearfuse.” Oh, we’re just kidding. But seriously…give us money. — Andrew Dobrow

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