Rumor has it that the Princess has been kidnapped. Again. I swear, sometimes it feels like she’s doing it on purpose. Anyway, lord knows I’m way too drunk to go on a ever-lasting quest to save that attention whore. Using my unstoppable power of Hassid, I can create a golem. A man of the Earth. But not using dirt. Oh, no. Monsters come in many shapes and forms.
This golem in particular is more a hero than a monster. See, the secret is using just enough Heineken. Though don’t underestimate the importance of the ratio between Guinness and Corona. One bottle cap short and you’ll wind up with a Link who’s only desire is to slaughter baby seals. One cap too many? You don’t even want to know.