A $4,000 Nintendo Wii? We’d Rather Choke

whyareyoulookingatthismess

Sure, the Wii might be the worst damn console in history according to our very official and scientific calculations. But the Nintendo gaming platform must have its fans out there somewhere, right? So, for all three of you at the Pleasantville Senior Rest Home, we’ve got a real treat for you and your saggy-diapered, Wiimote-wielding asses.

Pimped out with an array of 20,000 crystals, this $4,000 shitbox Wii is covered in shiny Mario gayness goodness, with possibly the faggiest depiction of Bowser and Mario that has ever been conceived. The purpose? To commemorate the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. So while your grandchildren might not be too impressed with this pile of fecal drivel, the extra shine emitted from this land mass might help you get a piece of silver-streaked tail. But we’re not gonna lie, it probably won’t help much of anything.

If you’re that desperate obsessed with the Wii, check out the auction on eBay.

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4 comments

  1. I would have thought someone writing articles on a website would have more common sense than this dude. The Wii has some of the best video games not only of this generation but of all time. No More Heroes, Super Mario Galaxy, Mad World, Metroid Prime 3, Zack and Wiki, Twilight Princess, House Of the Dead: Overkill, World of Goo, Lost Winds, Super Smash Bros Brawl, De Blob, Super Paper Mario, Excite Truck.

    I have missed out alot of games that have all ready been released on other consoles. With this in mind, FU, you have been proven wrong.

  2. @Ryan Have you read this article conducted by the Gearfuse scientists? It seems you have been misinformed. We’re sorry if we offended you and your fellow nursing home residents, sir. http://www.gearfuse.com/the-10-worst-video-game-consoles-of-all-time/

  3. This is a disgusting article. Besides being obviously and extremely biased against the Wii (which I am NOT a fanboy for) it’s poorly written. Firstly you misspelled Pleasant, ever hear of spell check? Then you use the terms gayness and faggiest in a negative way. I may not agree with political correctness, but using those terms in that manner is hateful. People like you should not be allowed to write articles, because you obviously are biased, can’t spell and use offensive terminology.

  4. You obviously haven’t played resident Evil 4 with the wii controls. Or played Tiger Woods 09 or seen the trailers for Tiger Woods 10 using the wii motion plus. These games can’t be compared to on the other systems. Or Virtua Tennis 2009.
    The wii is a great console. There’s a few kinks that need to be ironed out sure.
    But motion sensing is the way forward for consoles. You just wait and see.

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