Sure, the Wii might be the worst damn console in history according to our very official and scientific calculations. But the Nintendo gaming platform must have its fans out there somewhere, right? So, for all three of you at the Pleasantville Senior Rest Home, we’ve got a real treat for you and your saggy-diapered, Wiimote-wielding asses.
Pimped out with an array of 20,000 crystals, this $4,000 shitbox Wii is covered in shiny Mario gayness goodness, with possibly the faggiest depiction of Bowser and Mario that has ever been conceived. The purpose? To commemorate the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. So while your grandchildren might not be too impressed with this pile of fecal drivel, the extra shine emitted from this land mass might help you get a piece of silver-streaked tail. But we’re not gonna lie, it probably won’t help much of anything.
If you’re that desperate obsessed with the Wii, check out the auction on eBay.