Thursday , 29 January 2015
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Tag Archives: meat

Zombie Jerky: Meat Processed From Only The Finest Walking Dead

Coming soon to a webstore near you, Zombie Jerky, Teriyucky style. But how do you know that this is meat comes from 100% zombie byproduct and none of that disgusting cow meat is thrown into the mix? Notice the healthy green color. Only zombie blood could create meat that vibrant. And no worries, eating zombie meat is not considered cannibalism ... Read More »

Dinosaur Meat: Now Available at Your Deli Counter

Have you been looking for that perfect extinct animal to serve during your Fourth of July festivities? How about a deliciously tender Velociraptor leg? Perhaps a Sabertooth Filet? Whatever your taste, your favorite Prehistoric meat can apparently now be bought at your local deli counter. OK, so I feel like a bit of a shill for posting something that appeared ... Read More »

Unicorn Meat: An Alternative Source of Protein and Magic

And now back to our usual scheduled programming. I’m really trying to bulk up my muscles for the summer. Gotta look good in my mankini! I just get so sick of the same old protein sources every single day. Chicken, eggs, more chicken, even more eggs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a man who loves his eggs, but mostly when ... Read More »

South Koreans Using Meat as an iPhone Stylus

As it would seem, “electrostatically speaking,” sausages are a close match for the human finger, so they actually work pretty well as an iPhone stylus. Sales of CJ Corporation’s snack sausages are on the increase in South Korea because of the cold weather; they are useful as a meat stylus for those who don’t want to take off their gloves ... Read More »

Football Sausage: Pigskin… Literally

How long do you think the ball would last if it was really made of sausage? Those defensive linemen would be all-over that shit like white on rice. Om nom nom. Football Sausage is a great little football-watching snack. You never get between a man and his meat. Link [via] Read More »

Bacon Lampshade

It’s a lampshade, made out of friggen’ bacon. You got a problem with that? Take it up with PETA. If you’re anything like us, this shade would already be half-eaten, with the other half just about ready to slide down our greedy gullets. Wait a second… was that bacon raw….. ? Oh well… om nom nom. If you don’t like ... Read More »

Spam iPhone Case

Don’t worry, this iPhone case isn’t trying to sell you penis enhancement pills or some shitty D-Link product. Not that sort of spam. No, no. This case has much more depth. At least, as much depth as fake processed meat can have. For only the true fake meat lover, the Spam iPhone case is pure processed fun. Link [via] Read More »

Caffeinated Beef Jerky is a Complete Breakfast

Meet Perky Jerky, the complete performance enhancing meat. Caffeinated via the addition of Guarana, you won’t even need your morning coffee to get that extra perk, though of course you’ll still take it, you friggen’ fiend. Feeeeelin’ perky, oh, so perky. Just feel these nipples! Link [via] Read More »