Gearfuse

Don’t like thinking about how many times your dad’s hairy balls have thrust up against the coffee table as your mom reached climax? Sorry for the image, but that’s the price you have to pay. No toll-free roads here.

This Interactive Ripple Table features 480 super-bright white LEDs and 24 active and passive near-infrared optical sensors that react to both any movement, including your dad’s balls. The lights create a beautiful ripple effect, only adding to the effect of your mom’s ecstasy. Available in three lengths: 22-inches ($1500), 40- inches ($1800) or 58- inches ($2100).

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Prisoners of war, rejoice! Even if you’re stuck in the hole with only your alter-ego to keep you company you can still keep up with your chess game. The LED-lit Masterpiece Game features both chess and checkers pieces lit individually via small LED bulbs.

The Masterpiece game board ships with both a car adaptor and an AC adaptor for playing in most any condition where you have some sort of electrical source. I guess that rules out prison camps, but hey, a prisoner can dream.

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Can’t say I didn’t warn you I was having one of those “I’mma murder any motherfucker that gets in my way” days. Just look at my emoticon. It’s definitely looking pretty angry.

Running off of 4 AAA batteries, the Animated LED Emoticon T-Shirt lets everyone know how you’re feeling today. You can get a few for everyday of the week and be totally transparent or you can just wear the same one everyday if you don’t mind the disgusted emoticon too much.

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What’s a programmer to do. Buy a hard-to-find LED strip? Most likely. He’ll then probably spend weeks hacking it so he can interface it with an Arduino. Afterwards, the LEDs will fade in and fade out for weeks to come, as our hero desperately tries to make sense of all this. After meeting with a friend, our hero and his companion work together to release a library for said LED strip. The day ends and they both breathe a sigh of relief. They hack to live, they live to hack. Hit the link to see it in action.

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Confusing title? Absolutely, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. This here is a pumpkin, with the Super Mario Brothers 1UP mushroom carved out and an LED planted in the center. It looks sweet as hell, but even sweeter is that pumpkin they had to scoop out beforehand. Mmmm, pumpkin.

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This has to be one of the best street pranks ever. Spotted on the streets of Manhattan, some urban prankster had the ingenious idea of altering the “stop” hand of a traditional crosswalk light to resemble a hand flipping the bird instead.

Want to cross the street? Fuck off! No really, just go away. Viva las vandalism! This is so New York City.

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I don’t trust sheepherders. While I’m sure that many of them live an honorable and hardworking existence, I can’t help but shake the idea that most herding-peoples have some sort of animal-sex fetish. I know, it’s a problem. I’ll be seeking therapy soon. I blame the media. Now, extreme sheepherding on the other hand is a lamb of a different color.

These sheep are decked out in custom designed LED suits which allow for awesome midnight herding. If you ever seek out a video on sheepherding, let this be the one.

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These LED forks whipped up at Yanko Design are a decent idea for eating in low-light situations, but as far as romanticism goes, no dice. This “Lightware” claims it will “enhance your candle light dinner experience.” I don’t buy it. How does a red LED or a blue LED get me laid? If that’s all it took, I would have carried around a Light-Brite a long time ago.

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Those brits! Always inventing such crazy stuff like Fawlty Towers and The Office!

This time around, researchers at Cambridge University have designed an LED-based lightbulb that costs a mere $3 and has a 100,000 hour lifespan. Very impressive, considering that my current fucking lightbulbs tend to burn out after three months. Researchers say the bulb could also help lower electricity bills.

It should be available in, let’s see, about two to three years. Not too shabby, but not soon enough.

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Reading at night. Since children, we’ve enjoyed this ritual of waiting for the lights to go out then grabbing a flashlight and a book to read. But what about us older people who don’t have to worry about getting caught being up late but instead would like to read in the dark. After all, it feels great to pass out after reading a chapter of a new novel.

Enter the Super Slim LED Page Light. For $25, you’ll never be left in the dark again. A transparent page with a built-in white LED will illuminate your book evenly without any shadowing. Perfect for traveling or reading in bed. Just don’t try using it with Playboy as it’s best to avoid gunking it up.

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