How Will You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Greetings beloved GEARheads! The zombie apocalypse is near. Many a raving hobo have been telling me this over the years, and they can’t all be wrong. Just because they haven’t showered in nearly a decade doesn’t make them crazy. No, that’s the schizophrenia’s fault.

So my little love muffins, I want you to take a look to your left and leave us a comment about the tool of mass destruction you’ll be using to defend yourself once the zombie onslaught begins. Me? I’ll be using a stuffed purple monkey. Don’t ask. Anyway, leave a comment and I promise your life will be spared if I ever meet you as a zombie in some dark alley. I’ll settle for an Olfactory Bulb Omelette.

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21 comments

  1. you’ve stuck me with two retractable badge reels I clipped the ends together with…

  2. SCORE!! MY IPHONE IS RIGHT TO MY LEFT!!!! IM SURE THERES AN APP FOR THIIIISSS! ARGHHHHH OH SHIIIIIIIT>>>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  3. Garlic Sauce!

  4. A vacuum cleaner or a small child, I assume the vacuum would be slightly more effective though.

  5. god help me …an alarm clock

  6. A door, or a poster of Jimmy Page. If I rotate my laptop about 30 degrees clockwise I do also open up the option of a foot-long, half-inch-thick pencil though.

  7. Bubbles. I’m stuck with mickey mouse bubbles and a bubble wand. I’m a goner.

  8. Lucky me… an AR15. It’s probably the best civilian weapon in a zombie Apocalypse.

  9. Coconut Papaya Gel Hand Sanitizer.

    Their eyes shall burn yet smell lovely! YARRRRRRRGH

  10. A classic female handbag; large, heavy & full of malarky… of course as to whether I’d be able to reach any of that malarky before being overtaken by the hoardes is the question.

  11. a morel orel dvd. including cardboard case for protection against blood spray.

  12. I got one of my two speaker, atop of it is some kind of relic my dad gave me when i was young, and under the speaker is the sound system central unit. There is also an inflatable bed and an alarm clock. What to choose?

  13. A pillow. You gotta be kidding me!

  14. dammit.

    toilet paper.

  15. an original Xbawx, I should be able to penetrate the skull with this baby.

  16. an empty beer bottle

  17. a red swingline stapler

  18. Ryan Christopher Keiser

    I’ve got my towel. The best weapon in the galaxy.

  19. heheheh directly to me left is a wall…. and upon this wall rests a 7 foot long scythe, the pole is made of wood encased in aluminum for support and attached is a 36in tungston carbide blade.

    and if you say thats cheating then i can go with the next thing. other side of my wall is the garrage and i just cheacked the thing directly oposite is a ronan pro chainsaw 😀

    i think im prepared lol

  20. Crap. A warm cup of tea. I’m screwed. But at least I shall go to the great beyond with my thirst suitably quenched.

  21. Yes my trusty tomahawk

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