Watching shows like “Cops” or forensic anything on the channel that my girlfriend affectionately refers to as “the Murder Channel” will yield interesting information. What it will also yield however, is plenty of absolutely ridiculous excuses for criminal actions. Today we want to take a look at 4 of the most ridiculous criminal defenses from the mouths of criminals themselves.
1. We Were Having Sex.
This story wouldn’t be so shocking if the two criminals in question, Robert and Amanda Larrivee of Massachusetts weren’t brother and sister. The two were accused of trying to steal a TV from a sportsbar bathroom in October, 2012. When approached, they claimed that they were sneaking off to “get it on.” They were charged with larceny.
2. We Thought Everything Was Free
A Saint Paul, Minnesota woman was putting her children to bed when she heard intruders in her home. She got downstairs just in time to see a man and woman running from her home, the homeowner chased them and discovered that they had a truck full of her possessions. Hearing the ruckus, a neighbor blocked the thieves in with his car and called the police. After being arrested, Charles and Pernella Bull claimed that the house had been listed on Craigslist as a “free house” and they had thought that everything in the home was free for the taking.
3. No, Really, I’m In A Movie
In 2011, Philadelphia resident Micah Calamosca was caught trying to steal a car WITH an occupant inside. The only problem? The occupant was a plain clothes police officer. When asked just what he was doing, Calamosca claimed that he was working for the Production Company for the new Batman movie and the script called for him to steal a car. Calamosca was arrested.
4. I Was Cleaning My Underpants
One contractor working at the administration building of Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital was caught in a precarious position when a security guard stumbled upon him getting cozy with the Henry Hoover vacuum. The shocked security guard asked the contractor what he was doing and was told that he was “just cleaning his underpants.”