Brando, maker of all things cheap and USB, has graced us with yet-another beautiful USB-powered gadget. This time around, it’s an acrylic tube speaker with blue LEDs glowing inside it. Plug in your iPod/PC and get the tunes going while you play Crysis for hours on end.

At $22, you’re not going to find anything better that’s in the same speaker class. Might as well pour yourself a cocktail full of Hypnotiq and blast some Wu-Tang like it’s 1997 all over again.

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You can never have enough desktop companions cluttering your desk and cramping your monitor. This reptilian USB friend is indigenous to cum-ridden desks everywhere and comes in three extreme colors: green, orange and yellow. Just plug it into your computer and it’ll rotate its eyes and randomly flick its tongue. It’s almost like a real chameleon; a real chameleon made of plastic.

For $25.33, you’re going to feel ripped off at the fact that this reptile doesn’t change colors like every other chameleon on the planet. On the other hand, it’s a great accessory to have resting on top of your monitor so it can stare at you yearningly while you masturbate in front of it.

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Pesky trespassers, beware! This USB missile launcher is outfitted with a radar that picks up enemy movement in its field of vision. The instructions to make one are provided with a circuit board layout and a free download of the C# code to run it. Just plug this missile launcher into your PC and you’ll be scanning for Charlies in to time.

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Air guitar is a big thing but an even bigger musical hit is on the horizon. Omer Yosha has created an interesting, elegant interface that uses infrared sensors to control music applications he’s calling AirPiano. Similar in concept to the theremin but with many more advancements, the AirPiano allows any untalented schmuck to wiggle his fingers above the board to make sound.

This is done by a virtual matrix of keys and faders above the board, each assigned with MIDI messages and ready to be triggered at the whim of the user.  Once those MIDI messages have been triggered it then relays the positioning of your fingers to a computer via USB, where the preprogrammed AirPiano software converts it into sound, or if you’re talented, music.

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Nothing is better than technology through cake, especially when it’s a JDate-inspired cake! These baked goods are the product of two Jews in love who met on JDate.com. After some time, the couple, Amy and Adam, decided to get hitched and decided their wedding cake should reflect how they first met. Hope that cake isn’t being served during Passover!

Aside from the two 1989-esque laptops, there’s also cake Starbucks cups and what looks like a frosting-based USB cable. Since nothing beats a good Jewish bakery (Oh Kibitz Room…), I’m assuming these are some delicious goods.

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They’ve made thumb drives out of pretty much everything; even Luke Skywalker comes in USB form. Now, snobby wine connoisseurs everywhere can confuse their dozens of wine corks lying around the house for this 1GB USB flash drive.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t double as a wine stopper, it just looks like one, so if you happen to mix it up and try to use it as one, you can kiss your data goodbye. Look on the bright side: you can always drink the pain away.

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Laptops are a pain in the ass to relax with if you’re not sitting at a desk. Thankfully, there are alternatives to burning a hole in your crotch. FeDom is marketing a notebook desk with built-in 2.1 speakers as well as cooling fans. The desk is compatible with a bunch of operating systems, including those still stuck using Win98 SE. It can be powered via USB or with four D-cell batteries; the more power options, the better. The legs fold in for an easily storable desk for all you pack rats scrounging for space. Now that’s convenience!
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Messing with LEGOs is good times, even if you’re 53. That’s why some geek in Germany turned a few 2×2 transparent bricks (of a variety of colors) into high speed Bluetooth adapters. On sale in limited quantity, these bricks are priced at about $50 before shipping and handling. They’ll give you that “I’m an 8-year-old!” look and at the same time, sync your expensive top-of-the-line wireless gadgets together. While there are better ways to call attention to yourself, the LEGO Bluetooth Mini Dongle is ultimately more useful than the alternatives.
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This version of a USB battery by IOGear is pretty nifty. One end works as a miniUSB plug, allowing you to easily charge your cellphone, MP3 player, digital camera or vibrator when you’re in dire need of some juice. The Gearjuice Rescue Chargers is a steal at $12. The next time you break down on the side of the road on some cold, rainy night and your cellphone doesn’t work, you’ll be wishing you had one of these.

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If you’ve got soldering skills and you dabble in the Arduino programming language, this add-on will allow Internet access to your Arduino via Ethernet. This will allow you to check your email, your Tumblr and lots of other stuff the government won’t allow me to tell you. DailyDIY provides step-by-step instructions for this simple build for the novice solderer.

Remember, it only takes one trip to Radio Shack…

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