Sleep machine gives you eight hours in only three

Insomnia and lack of sleep is probably the number one cause of many accidents associated to automobile fatalities (finish him!) and on-the-job tasks. People just don’t have the time that they used to. Thanks to the University of Wisconsin-Madison, we all might be sleeping more soundly, in a less amount of time.

A machine currently in testing uses what’s called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), which induces the brainwaves associated with R.E.M. sleep patterns. No, not the band. The sleeping phase. We don’t need a machine for the band. Especially with their latest album releases. Spare us, please. The machine supposedly knocks you out with the push of a button. Do you see this going anywhere? Be brutally honest. — Andrew Dobrow

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