Report: You Will Get Raped In Animal Crossing


There’s a new report out now from Mid-Missouri Internet Crimes Task Force and you need to take this seriously, folks. Turns out, if you have a Nintendo Wii, your child risks being molested. I’m not joking! The game Animal Crossing: City Folk for the Wii is the new AOL chatroom of yesteryear. Don’t take my word for it, take Andy Anderson’s word for it:

“There is no reason an adult should have this game,” says Andy Anderson, Mid-Missouri Internet Crimes Task Force.

Straight from the horse’s mouth. If you read this and your children get molested, it’s not my fault – it’s Nintendo’s.



  1. just cause a game isn’t rated M doesn’t mean it sucks. geez.

  2. fuck you

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