One Man Tied: The cable hook that makes you look twice

Feeling a little masochistic? Well don’t go beat your kids just yet. Here’s a safer alternative to unleash some of that built up violence. One Man Tied is a unique cable tidy hook that not only helps organize your cables, but leaves you with the satisfaction of a fresh torture, without the guilt.

This 4″ tall poor little man is available in both orange and white (although awkwardly shown as red on the product’s page). As you tidy up your cables, you’ll start to realize why the One Man Tied looks to be in such agony. But, look at it this way. No need to hit your kids, no screaming wife, no pleas for mercy, and most importantly, no need to create excuses when you bring your kid into the hospital with a fractured skull. Hell, no more hospital bills! Well worth the $12 for violent child beaters. — Andrew Dobrow

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