Coming Soon: Jersey Shore Halloween Costumes

As a native New Jerseyan, I can fully assure you that Jersey is nothing like it is portrayed in the show Jersey Shore. Not all of us go around lifting up our shirts and showing off our abs. Not all of us get drunk everyday of the week and hook up with random strangers. No, no. In fact, many of us reserve our drinking and schmoozing for the weekend. And there’s no need to lift up your shirt if you’re not wearing a shirt in the first place.

But really, this whole thing sort of makes me sick. This whole Jersey Shore thing is so ridiculous. These people aren’t even from Jersey. They’re New Yorkers. And no matter how badly I secretly want to make love to Snooki, that doesn’t change the fact that these idiotic Jersey Shore Halloween costumes are going to be worn by thousands of people across the country. Oh, boy. I just can’t wait.

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