Wu Tang Clan rapper and drug expert Ghostface Killah once rapped that “all around the world today the kilo is the measure, a kilo is a thousand grams easy to remember.” That may be true, drug dealers also have to work with many other units of measurement like ounces, which weigh in at a much less memorable 28.35 grams. Thankfully, now there’s Units, an iPhone app which makes selling illegal drugs easier than ever.

Units, which is currently the third most popular iPhone app, is a simple calculator that allows users to convert between different units of measurement right on their phones. Units can convert between grams, ounces, pounds, and kilos making it an awesome app for drug dealers with rusty math skills. Best of all, Units also comes with a currency converter for international drug smuggling operations. Units costs just ninety-nine cents, which is just a fraction of what you could end up losing by falling victim to fuzzy math during a drug buy. Everybody knows how much dealers love cell phones, so if this app makes the iPhone the cell of choice for black market entrepreneurs Steve Jobs and the folks at who developed Units at Crossroad Solutions should stand to make a pretty penny. Units also calculates distances, temperatures, power for those of you who don’t sell illegal substances. With all of these features, it’s no wonder Units is outselling useless apps like iBeer and the D20 dice.

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High tech gadgets and beer are both great, so you’d think that bringing the two together would be a smashing success right? Not true. Apparently, software developers don’t realize that the best part of drinking is actually getting drunk and you can’t get smashed just by looking at pictures of beer. First, there was the horrendous “Beer Pong” game for the Nintendo Wii. We all saw how well that went. Now, there’s iBeer, which brings all the non-fun of looking at an alcoholic beverage without actually drinking it to the iPhone 3G.

iBeer gives users to have a beer screensaver on their phones. It makes burping and fizzing noises and simulates being poured. With iBeer, you can tilt your iPhone and make it look like you’re actually drinking a beer. iBeer claims to offer users the opportunity to “brew and drink beer on your iPhone and iPod Touch.” Lame. This fake phone beer costs $2.99 at the iTunes store and, so far, the reviews for iBeer have been merciless.

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