UK luxury firm Luvaglio has released some pictures of its Million Dollar Laptop. Honestly, I wouldn’t care if this thing was covered in diamonds. For a million bucks, this thing better have a mind control device or some shit. The Million Dollar Laptop comes with a diamond encrusted power button, a 17-in backlit screen with a special non-reflecive coating, a 128 GB solid state hard drive, a Blu-Ray dive, and built in USB memory and MP3 player. The laptop will be precision made with the finest precious metals, leathers, and woods.

Are the specs impressive? Definitely. Are they worth a million dollars? Hell no! Give me $750,000 and I’ll make the same thing for you for 25% less. No laptop should ever be more expensive than $5,000. Luvaglio is just being greedy. I would much rather spend it on this Million Dollar Hublot watch covered in bling. — Andrew Dobrow

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Yo, dawg. We gots a question for y’all homeboys. Is there such thing as too much bling? Normally that answer would be, “Umm, we don’t think so, but ask Lil’ John.” But this addition to the Hublot series of Big Bang watches makes us believe that there is indeed the possibility to have to much ice around your wrist.

With a staggering 493 (count ‘em) diamonds and gems encased in a setting of 18K white gold. If that isn’t luxurious enough, take into account that this a a one-of-a-kind watch which took over 2,000 hours of manpower to produce. Ha, we wish we were joking on that one. Don’t get your piggy banks out just yet. This exclusive watch has already been sold. To a rapper we presume. — Andrew Dobrow

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Aye caramba! More expensive crap we’ll never be able to afford for our girlfriends. The Touchmate TM-M800 cellphone is encased in gold and boasts Swarovski Crystal diamond that is only beautiful enough for the most beautiful and gracious of woman. This phone is the bling phone for woman.

Besides its luxurious skin, its innards are made of the usual suspects. It features a 1.3 MP camera, a TFT color display, USB support, 128MB of memory, and can play MP3 and MP4 files for a media player feature. Also available is a more masculine silver-black version that you can check out after the jump.

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Jay-Z is going to want some of this ice. This Sarcar Solitaire watch integrates a nauseating amount of diamonds. A beautiful bezel one carat diamond revolves around a diamond ring, coated with a track of even more diamonds. Which is then laid on the face plate of even MORE diamonds. And so on and so forth.

The watch strap is made of fine crocodile skin leather, and if this wasn’t luxury enough for you, there is also a Royal Solitaire edition which has the strap encrusted with gold and diamonds. The standard Solitaire is going to run you easily in the seven figures. Is there such thing as too much bling? Nah… — Andrew Dobrow

Product Page [Sarcar, via Luxist]