Bitchcruiser Bike Won’t Fool Anyone Into Thinking You’re Getting Ass

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Most chicks don’t dig anal. They might put up with it to keep us happy and, more importantly, to shut us up, but it’s not the most pleasant feeling to have her whimper the whole time. The Bitchcruiser Bike puts a literal rod up the ass of an unsuspecting sex doll, allowing you to cruise around with a bloodless sex dummy as your bike’s dashboard.

If the feeling of anal dominance is important enough for you to show off on your daily bike route, you can pick up the Bitchcruiser from eBay for the high price of $2,300. But something tells us, if you own this bike, the only real ass you might be getting could possibly be leaving soon. — Andrew Dobrow

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