Tangle Free Cord-Holding Bag Can’t Hold My Manhood

Hate dealing with wires as much as I do? The EZ Cord Bag is designed for unruly people like us who can’t maintain a group of wires without having them end up entwined with one another.  Perhaps the easiest way to hold an extension cord, the EZ Cord Bag holds up to 100 feet of cord tangle-free.  With a built-in shoulder strap for extra easy portability, it’s a surprise this bag sells for a mere $20.

Though, I must warn you. If you’re trying to use this bag as extra support for your over-sized pecker, it will not fit. I had a terribly embarrassing experience with an EZ Cord Bag on the opening night of Iron Man.  You see, my girlfriend was going down on me at the concession stand, holding my member in her hand as if it were a never-ending string of Gobstoppers. All the while, I’m enjoying the movie several feet away with my EZ Cord Bag packed in between my girlfriend and I as an intermediary.  When the movie was over and my girlfriend was no where to be seen, I scrambled to my feet leading me to trip over my EZ Cord Bag. The bag tore my manhood’s root out of my pelvis and I let out a blood curdling scream. I passed out and awoke in a hospital, vowing to use the EZ Cord Bag for cords only in the future.

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