It has come to this.
Humanetics, one of the world’s largest producers of crash test dummies, will soon be producing a morbidly obese cousin to the healthy-sized original.
The new dummy will weigh 273 lbs (as opposed to the 167 lbs of the current model) and have a BMI of 35.
The new dummy is being manufactured in response to a statistic that says obese passengers are 78% more likely to be fatally injured in an accident.
They’re also 100% more likely to want secret milkshake compartments with three feet long straws for easy access.