Fat and Dumb: New Crash Test Dummies Will Be Made Obese


It has come to this.

Humanetics, one of the world’s largest producers of crash test dummies, will soon be producing a morbidly obese cousin to the healthy-sized original.

The new dummy will weigh 273 lbs (as opposed to the 167 lbs of the current model) and have a BMI of 35.

The new dummy is being manufactured in response to a statistic that says obese passengers are 78% more likely to be fatally injured in an accident.

They’re also 100% more likely to want secret milkshake compartments with three feet long straws for easy access.


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