Love it or hate it, the Zune isn’t the hit Microsoft hoped that it would be. The current $14.95 a month Zune Pass subscription model hasn’t been attracting enough subscribers, so in an effort to generate more revenue, Microsoft will offer subscribers 10 free tracks to keep each month. 10 free songs a month isn’t a bad idea, but it’s not enough to really lure in a whole new audience. Says Adam Sohn of Microsoft:

Microsoft marketing director Adam Sohn said that Microsoft saw some boost when it targeted its advertising specifically around subscriptions but said that the total number of subscribers is less than the company would like.

“It’s not grown as fast as we’d like it so we think this will give it a shot in the arm,” Sohn said, declining to say how many Zune Pass subscribers Microsoft currently has.

I give the Zune another 12 to 16 months before Microsoft pulls the plug. What say you?

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Zune fans are PHAT. Yes, PHAT - pretty hot and tempting. They also have a vivid imagination when it comes to their own fan-made advertising. We think YouTube user ButternutJelly is a Zune fan, but we’re not so sure.

Clearly drawing inspiration from Tubgirl, he made this short film for Microsoft’s Zune. If it didn’t include a disclaimer, I’d have thought it was from Microsoft’s advertising team. Warning: it’s quite disturbing.

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Not that it mattered, but Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has gone on the record stating that the company has no plans to build a phone Zune or otherwise. Instead, Microsoft is going to focus on it’s Windows Mobile platform which makes perfect sense. He also mentioned that the Zune software will be ported to other devices, including Windows. Does anyone care? Most likely not. Move along, folks. There’s other news to be had.

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I can sum this post up in a riddle. Everyone loves riddles, especially Joker.

Here it goes:

If McDonalds gives Zune users WiFi for a few years for free, does anyone care?

Didn’t think so. Move it along, folks.

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Later today, you’re going to feel the ground shake a little and possible open up in some areas. Don’t worry. It’s just the sound of the earth moving around furiously over news of this 120GB Zune. What’s a Zune? A strange MP3 player from Microsoft that still hasn’t died and a 120GB is due out next week.

Now about that earth moving around. That’s because some dude in Hotlanta, GA bought a 120GB Zune early at a Fry’s Electronics. It’s not the first time a product has been available for purchase early. Want a CD a week or so before it comes out? Find a (very) local CD retailer and check in with them every day. That’s how I got my Dashboard Confessional albums, which in turn I ripped to my Zune which in turn made me want to kill myself. $250 and your pride.

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You’ve gotta be one fat fucking loser to want to tattoo “Wel-come to the social” on your shoulder. It looks like some five-year old tattoo artist did it, or at least thought up the idea. It’s bad enough it’s the Zune slogan, but even worse: it’s a terrible slogan. Considering no one bought the Zune except this guy and four other people leaves little to be desired in regards to being welcomed to the social. Thanks for welcoming me, now where’s the exit?

Long time Zune fanatic Mszunefan is not the only one looking for the exit. He posted on Zunescene:

“I am done. I have had the Zune since day 1 and have noticed little improvement. I have tried my best to support them every step of the way but the recent Xbox Live announcement at E3 made me lose it. To not include Zune Marketplace or the ability to load videos from Xbox Live to your Zune made me finally give up. I am in the works of figuring the best way to get a new tattoo to cover the logo on my arm. Thanks for all the harsh comments and you will see very little of me anymore.”

Note to self: never tattoo a lousy corporate logo and a terrible slogan to match, onto my skin. I’ll only cover them up later with the latest Microsoft OS logo.

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So, I hear you and your two friends with Zunes got together for a bit of a jamboree the other night. That sounds real fun. Did you drink too many bottles of Bartles & Jaymes and get a headache? Poor you. Don’t sleep in tomorrow though, or you might miss out on the McDonald’s breakfast trip going down at 8:30AM.

And while I realize your alarm clock broke last week, there’s a replacement solution for you, Zune owner. iHome decided to make the ZN9, an alarm clock/radio for the Zune. It ah, tells you the time, plays the radio and….music…something. You get the point. Have fun plunking down $100 on a much-needed peripheral for a dying device!

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Forget about all of this Guitar Hero mess. What about a little fun for us real guitarists? iGTR from Wave connects your mp3 player to your guitar so you can jam out to your favorite tunes on your iPod (or a Zune, if you’re a dirty commie).

iGTR also packs in 9 guitar effects, including wah, tremolo and phaser effects for an authentic sounding jam session. iGTR even lets you slow down your tunes to practice your favorite guitar solo in super slow-motion. This is for the REAL guitar heroes. Get yours for $100 and don’t forget the 3 AAA batteries. – Andrew Dobrow

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Microsoft was just asking for something like this to happen when they offered custom designs for their portable media player, the Zune. This particualr design was put together by iPhoneSavior.com, with a caricature of Steve Ballmer proclaiming he is a “frigtard”. P.S. Even an animated portrayal of Ballmer without a shirt on is arousing nauseating.

This design not only immortalized Steve Ballmer with a likeness to Satan, but also has the nerve to suggest that pure and innocent Steve Ballmer would get multiple tattoos! The nerve of these people! For more on Steve Ballmer and the Zune, check out when he totally slashed hopes of a Zune phone with one foul swoop. — Andrew Dobrow

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So, Mr. Gates. It seems you want to make another go at this whole portable media thing. The FCC has approved the Zune 2 80GB model, after putting it through the usual vigorous testing for compliance with such rules as the allowed radiated emissions, and more importantly, the mandatory “doesn’t blue screen every two seconds” test.

I think it remains pretty clear where we stand on the whole Apple vs. Microsoft conflict, yet we shall wait and see what the consumers decide when the 80GB Zune is released. And just to make sure that no secrets would be revealed, Microsoft made sure that no actual photos were released for this test. Does anyone expect this thing to make a good showing? — Andrew Dobrow

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