Gearfuse

You know how sometimes your girlfriend will just blather on and on about completely nothing when all you really want is for her to shut her dirty pie hole? You could tell her to zip-it and likely get a bitch-slap in response, or you can be slightly more subtle and offer her this trendy Zip-It Zipper Necklace in exchange for her silence.

Inspired by people who just can’t shut their mouths, the Zip-It Necklace is the generous way of telling someone to shut the fuck up. The necklaces are made from 100% authentic zippers so only the finest zippering action should be expected. You can choose from antique gold and antique silver (both 12″ long) or polished silver (13.5″ long). The going rate is $50. Surely less expensive than that diamond pendant she’s been running her mouth about.

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Remember in Pulp Fiction when Marsellus Wallace is getting fucked in the ass by a couple of rednecks? Of course you do, it’s most likely one of your favorite scenes. Well if you’d like to sport a style that resembles that of The Gimp’s, I’d have to recommend Kate Cusack’s zipper jewelry. From S&M-inspired necklaces to beautiful, chic bracelets, this is the kind of jewelry that you could wear to a nightclub and also use in your torture dungeon. It’s affordable too, with pins costing around $85 and necklaces priced in the $400 to $1000 range.

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Hmmm. I’m torn on this zipper necklace designed by Outi Pyy. DIY chic or just plain disgusting? I keep leaning toward the latter but I’m hardly qualified to critique fashion. What do you think?

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Get your girlfriend these zipper earrings. They’re only $5 and will entertain you for hours when your wife gets stuck in the blow-dryer. Or, have her pierce those nips and then you guys can do cyborg cosplay. Don’t have $5? Make your own with an old stud earring and a zipper.

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