Whoever said sliced bread was, at one point, the greatest invention obviously has never had my bombastic matzoh brie. Toast can be very boring in the morning, especially if you’re doing little more than spreading marmalade on it. Sure, toasting images on to bread is fun, but not nearly as fun as a friendly game of Tic-Tac-Toe.

The Tic Tac Toast stamper promises to liven up your breakfast by easily imprinting a Tic-Tac-Toe board on your daily sliced bread. For $5 you can mark the X’s with jam and the O’s with cream cheese or butter, and you’re well on your way to a tie in Tic-Tac-Toe. Seriously, dude, keep your hands off of my toast.

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Despite not being a huge fan of the taste of Budweiser beer, I must admit it’s got balls as big as Irish girls ass. Budweiser is brewing a new American Ale as a gift for the rest of the world to relish in yeasty malty goodness. On the 29th this homage to American brewing will be purchasable in stores so you can binge drink the great old American way. Well, America isn’t that old, but we’re getting there! So here’s to Budweiser, for kicking it old school! U-S-A

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