A guitar boat sounds great on paper. It’s a chick magnet. It plays tunes. It can get you down the Yangtze river. Well, maybe not the owner of this boat, Australian singer Josh Pyke. He’d find it difficult once the locals catch up to him with their boats shaped like boats and capsize his ass, sending him down stream quicker than a hyena hopped up on poppers. It wouldn’t be a problem if Josh Pyke invested in a hyper-sub.
When you’re the last female of your kind and you have three willing males ready to inseminate you with their love seed, isn’t it your obligation to lay at least one of them? Not according to the last female Yangtze giant soft-shell turtle. She’s a stubborn little lard whose vagina is so full of sand, she’d rather face extinction than get laid. Talk about priority issues.
Though the fate of the Yangtze giant soft-shell turtle is uncertain, one could always look to cloning as an alternative to revitalizing the gene pool. Listen, a crabby cunt will always be a crabby cunt. There’s no use forcing the lady to mate. I’m pretty sure that’s called rape.
