If you’ve seen the film There Will Be Blood, there’s a scene where Daniel Day Lewis calls his adopted son a “bastard from a basket.” I think that phrase sums up this controller nicely. The action of the PS3 with the cumbersome feel of an Xbox 360 controller. Brilliant. Who dunnit? None other than Ben Heck himself.
Gamers looking for the ultimate pre-order package should look no further than Gears of War 2. If you head on over to Amazon and pre-order soon, you’ll score a life-size replica of the Lancer weapon, complete with blood-stained blade and all. Pull the trigger and you’ll hear sounds and the gun will vibrate. Just like being 8-years-old all over again.
Of course, this bit of awesomeness isn’t coming cheap. Plunk down $210 on Gears of War 2 and you’ll score both a copy of the game and a Lancer. Wait a few weeks and you’ll be able to scoop up the Lancer sans game for a mere $140. All you need now is to threaten your wife’s vagina with this thing and the sex will just keep on cummin’.
Just a quick tip for those of you out there in need of an Xbox 360. You may want to consider hitting up the infamous Circuit City for your console, as the big box retailer seems to be feeling more generous as of late. For each Xbox 360 you pick up post price-cut, you’ll get a card worth 1600 Microsoft Points to go along with it. They’ll also give you a $10 gift card and a free t-shirt if you pick up GRAW 2 and a bunch of titles are selling for $15. Not too shabby. Now let’s wait and see what Best Buy’s next Sunday ad says.
Here’s some good news for those who live in Canada: you no longer have to settle for playing your Xbox 360 games on that 20 inch TV of yours. Well, you don’t have to settle for it if you’ve got the cash and the friends willing to accompany you as you rent out a movie theater. Playing the upcoming Fallout 3 on the big screen would be more enjoyable than any computer animated Star Wars sacrilege or Will Farrell comedy.
As of last Friday, Cineplex Entertainment of Canada started renting out screen time for solely playing Xbox 360. Wait, what about the PS3 or Wii? Oh right…no one plays those systems. For just $179 dollars and tax you’ll gain access to an entire theater for you and 11 friends for a two hour session. Just in case you left your copy of Bioshock at home, they’ll also provide you with access to their own library of games. The theaters rent time is mostly scheduled for the morning, which brings anywhere from 12 to 24 hours of downtime to the theater. But they don’t mind, they’re making more dough doing this than they ever did in the movie business. Welcome to the new-age of arcades, I can’t wait to see the subliminal advertising.
Are you into so-called “alternative lifestyles”? Do you game but feel your Xbox 360 isn’t satisfying you? You might need Lian-Li’s communist XB01 Xbox 360 case. It’s a modified ATX-style computer case for your Xbox 360. Made out of brushed aluminum, the case greatly resembles that of a Mac Pro. The XB01 should solve the cooling issues that plague the 360 thanks to the metal case and a large 120mm rear fan. Anyone looking to mod the 360 will surely find tinkering much easier with their console in a conventional PC case.
At $149, it’s not the cheapest case but remember: it’s already molded for your Xbox. Just pop it in and pray that you don’t get the RROD.
This just in, we’re getting reports that with the release of Madden ‘09, Jesus Christ is no longer needed. Teens across the country who once believed that Jesus was the next messiah have been lining up outside Gamestops across the country at midnight and proclaiming that the game is “off the fucking chain, yo.”
“I ain’t got no time for God an’ shit” says Anthony Dominguez, 22. “I’m tryin’ to, ya know, buy this motherfucker for the 360 then play it all fuckin’ day, ya feel me dawg? I even took off work tomorrow and called my shorty to make my b-fast.”
With the inclusion of Brett Favre as a NY Jet, rumor is it a 2.4 magnitude earthquake will occur outside the Circuit City in Pasedena, CA. $60 and your pride Madden ‘09 will cost ya.
Yup. You read correctly. You, sirs, are staring at a brand-spankin’ new Xbox 360 from Taiwan. The catch? It’s an extremely limited edition The Dark Knight Xbox 360. Kind of like getting a BJ from Megan Fox while Michael Jordan high fives you. Good luck getting your own. You may very well end up making your own.
Rush and Nas were on the Colbert Report playing Tom Sawyer on Rock Band for the Xbox 360. Kotaku says Nas outperformed Rush on their own song, and for the most part he did. In Rush’s defense, playing guitar solo on Rock Band is way easier than having an entire band set up with vocals and drums in addition to the guitar. We still think Rush rocks. Plus, Nas is using a Guitar Hero guitar. What a hack.
Everyone has been comparing Bethesda’s Fallout 3 with Oblivion. That’s a real shame, considering Fallout’s true roots lie with Black Isle Studios. Though the game may not be what long-time Fallout fans are hoping for, it certainly will be remembered for the gore. One thing I’ll miss: groin shot. Here’s a few good reads on the upcoming post-apocalyptic pseudo-RPG from Bethesda:
Enjoy!
That son of a bitch. Looks like Ben Heckendorn, console hacker extraordinaire, has created a one-handed Xbox 360 controller. Not only is it the wireless version and ridiculous, it’s also for sale. Yes, Ben has decided to step outside his box of making one-off portable consoles and has created a controller that will be readily available for purchase.
For the low price of $130, you get a controller that is both unique and useless. You’re telling me you’re going to beat Mass Effect one-handed? Not when you have one hand on the controller and the other down the front of your pants.
