Gearfuse

As far as manly jewelry goes, you don’t see many candidates. People try, they really do. But most of the results are unisex at best. This 12-point Wrench Ring oozes of testosterone, down to its silver finish.

It’s not quiet clear whether you can use the ring for anything manly, like repairing your muscle car or cleaning out your sink’s pipes (and remember kids, ass crack is mandatory), but keep this ring in your toolbox, just for the hell of it. You never know when a cutie will be walking past your construction site. For those moments, you’ll have an extra touch of class waiting for you.

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Sometimes, when I’m hanging out with Mel Gibson, we like to play Niptwist. What’s Niptwist, you ask? It’s a game when I take an adjustable wrench and then clamp down on Mel’s nipples. He screams in delight and then begs for more. After about 45 minutes of this, Gibson passes out and mumbles some anti-semetic rant.

Little does Mel know that tomorrow I’m going to have an advantage in our game of Niptwist. I plunked down $27 for the Black and Decker Auto Wrench. What does $27 get you? Try an automatic adjustable wrench with 220 ft-pounds of torque. That’s enough to turn William Wallace’s balls/nips/dick more purple than Barney. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, bitches.

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Not all of us are DIY kind of people, but some are. When there’s a pipe problem we either have to handle it ourselves, or we’ll have to call a plumber. It can sometimes be annoying when we (and the plumber you paid to hire) don’t have the right size of pipe-wrench. Black & Decker has developed this 17USD electronic pipe-wrench that adjusts the size of its tip to fit all kinds of knobs, and you only need to know how to press a button, but this thing is heavy- 490g. Ah well, at least it’s not expensive. — Sam Chan
Auto wrench [Black & Decker]