In this cut-for-cut world, where every average gangster and granny is packing a blade, you’ve gotta defend your own. This Pocket Knife / Ruler combo gadget lets you not only do some serious stabbing, but lets you easily measure your stab wounds on the way to the hospital.
Doctors always love it when you come prepared.
These bandages take a page right from the book of Stryper, the most metal of metalest bands ever. Battle wounds are part of the metal world. When you have fans throwing broken beer bottles at the stage, it’s sort of difficult not to get a boo-boo every once in a while.
But what’s a metal guitarist to do? A simple old band aid won’t cut it. Hell, even duct tape bandages aren’t hardcore enough. These Leather Bandages should fit right in with your full-body pleather jumpsuit.
Let’s show those germs whose boss by letting them know our wounds are not present for their luxury. The Crime Scene Bandages let germs and people who like to poke that the area of your boo-boo is not for crossing.
Each bandage brandishes a warning of “Crime Scene Do Not Enter”. Because as well all know, any mistreatment of our beautiful clear skin is a crime to begin with. Available for $3.99 a package. — Andrew Dobrow
