Gearfuse

If we’re going to be enslaved, we might as well have a symbiotic relationship with our slave master. The Synchronicity Island  allows us to buff up our beautiful, if slightly flabby, bods while our cardio workout provides all of the power needed to purify water. Metaphorically turning water into wine, except the wine is actually more water.

Powered by a series of exercise machines, the Island uses our kinetic energy to pump water into four tanks, which starts the purification process. We are the bearers of clean things and we have the shaky legs to prove it.

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If you spend all of the time you used to spend exercising checking all of your shiny social media sites, chances are you’re starting to look a little lumpy. But there’s a solution!

The New (Media) Workout Plan encourages fitness and geekiness working in tandem. Every time you open up a new tab to check one of these sites, perform the listed exercise. I’m going to be doing sit-ups, arm circling and jogging in place all fucking day.

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This is just perfect. And not only because the Wii sucks! Okay, well mostly because the Wii sucks. But we have to hand it to Nintendo. Their little Wii Fit gimmick is a decent idea… in theory. The problem is that their console is a gimmicky pile of junk, which isn’t much help to those of us who need a serious workout.

By far, the most awesome thing about the Exer-Station Pro is that you don’t need the Wii to enjoy a side of gaming to go with your workout. Compatible with PlayStation, PSP, XBox, GameCube, Mac and PC, it has a tremendous amount of cross-console compatibility. No need to suffer for a mediocre console in vain.

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