We’ve all misplaced our car keys at one point or another. The problem lies around two o’ clock in the morning when you’re shit-faced drunk, have no money for a cab and your keys fall into a sewage drain.

No worries. Wired has the solution. It explains in detail all that is required to get your car up and running without the need of your car keys. Hopefully, you can prove you’re the owner of the vehicle you’re driving after getting caught by police thanks to some wicked anti-theft devices. Other than that, all that is required is some wire strippers and a flat head screwdriver. Grand theft auto has never been easier!

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No longer will your guitar have to suffer an early demise at the hands of a clumsy stage crew member tripping over your amp cords. Coming in September, Belkin is offering a new power connector for your guitar and amp that borrows the magnetic damage protection of Apple’s MagSafe adapter for your electric guitar.

It works with standard quarter-inch plugs and promises no audio quality issues. So it’s a safe bet that rocking hard won’t have you flinging your guitar from your hand because you tried to dance around your wires while playing. For $20, the worse that’s going to happen if someone does trip over your chords is the disconnection between your guitar and your amp, break-free. This will bring great relief to the audience, who thought that your music sounded nothing short of a guitar being thrown on the sidewalk and stepped upon in repetition.

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Hate dealing with wires as much as I do? The EZ Cord Bag is designed for unruly people like us who can’t maintain a group of wires without having them end up entwined with one another.  Perhaps the easiest way to hold an extension cord, the EZ Cord Bag holds up to 100 feet of cord tangle-free.  With a built-in shoulder strap for extra easy portability, it’s a surprise this bag sells for a mere $20.

Though, I must warn you. If you’re trying to use this bag as extra support for your over-sized pecker, it will not fit. I had a terribly embarrassing experience with an EZ Cord Bag on the opening night of Iron Man.  You see, my girlfriend was going down on me at the concession stand, holding my member in her hand as if it were a never-ending string of Gobstoppers. All the while, I’m enjoying the movie several feet away with my EZ Cord Bag packed in between my girlfriend and I as an intermediary.  When the movie was over and my girlfriend was no where to be seen, I scrambled to my feet leading me to trip over my EZ Cord Bag. The bag tore my manhood’s root out of my pelvis and I let out a blood curdling scream. I passed out and awoke in a hospital, vowing to use the EZ Cord Bag for cords only in the future.

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ITsecurity.com has posted a comprehensive guide on do-it-yourself wiretapping as well as wiretapping defense. Offering a slew of choices to approach your attempt to spy on your gorgeous blond-haired neighbor including: how to install bugs, track someone’s whereabouts with their cell phone (if it’s registered with a U.K. phone company), in addition to how-to FM wiretap.

And if it boils down to you being a lazy bastard who can’t come up with a constructive way to sneak into your neighbors place and bug it, Toys ‘R’ Us sells a bug kit for just $8.99.

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Our United States are still at war. Maybe if we had lesson human soldiers on the front line, there’d be less controversy on the subject. What can you do to protect your country? If you have some extra CAT-5 cable lying around, you can make your very own CAT-5 soldiers.

If you have enough wiring, maybe you could even make your very own CAT-5 army! Always on guard, protecting the tubes from any suicide hackers. (more…)