Gearfuse

I don’t know about where you’re from, how could I? But I do know that in these parts, winter means frigid temperatures. Jersey gets the best (and worst) of both worlds. Extreme heat and intense cold.

The heat part is easy, all I have  to do is walk around naked. It’s the chilliness that starts getting tricky. Out come the layers and bye-bye goes the skin. Unfortunately for Grandma, I have a new pattern I’m going to physically force her to knit. These Mario Mushroom Wrist Warmers will keep me and my family’s wrists warm this season, all cozy under our Mario hoodies. Even if my wrists get more activity than they should, they still get frigid in the chilly Jersey winter.

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In the winter I usually like to grow a full-blown beard, as it helps to keep my face warm and crisp through the harsh snowy season. My skin, on the other hand, has an issue with the hair growth and personally holds me accountable. I’m pretty confidant that I’m allergic to my own hair. I get patches of dry skin wherever I grow in my facial hair — dry skin that remains crusted unless I properly moisturize. It’s actually pretty distressing.

These Mustache Gloves would save me some time and some embarrassment. Not only would my upper lip be warm as I walk around with my finger settled just below my nose, but I’d also get to look like a French aristocrat if I so desired, thanks to the two different mustache options provided by the gloves. They also offer discrete finger sniffing! You can grab a pair on sale for $65, usually $95.

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Thomas Kinkade might be a little too grandma-ish for you, but I thought this mug was pretty neat, despite the hokey winter scene design. When the mug is filled with warm liquid, such as urine, the windows of the home illuminate.

My Grandma is extremely aroused. Hot cocoa has that effect on her.

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While I’m not sure we can call this the coolest beanie we’ve ever seen (because let’s be honest, we’ve seen some really awesome beanies), it’s definitely the only one that would make you feel at home inside of a fantasy novel.

The homemade Magic Unicorn Beanie gives the wearer a new phallic member and a generous mane of purpleish pink fur. If you happen to go searching for Candy Mountain, I don’t think you’ll get even a second glance as long as you’re wearing this thing. More single-horned love after the jump.

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Don’t ask me why they did it, but they did it. Design group “I Never Kissed A Dog” spent hours, meticulously covering a room in white Post-It notes, as to recreate the wintery whiteness of the coldest season of the year. The project, called “Winter 1972,” does a bang up job of recreating the sharpness of winter’s chill, and it just looks awesome no matter how you spin it.

I don’t image it would be too comfortable sitting on a couch covered in Post-It notes, but it’s certainly more comfortable than sleeping in a real winter landscape? Having snow down your pants is not an experience I recommend to anyone. Can you say shrinkage? I’m a Jew. I can’t afford shrinkage. (more…)

Looking to save the Earth and keep warm on those chilly winter days? We’ve got you covered. Try out the aptly-named UrBonFire, a device that lets you have a fire in your living room without the need for a chimney or ventilation. While it looks like the ultimate safety hazard, UrBonFire would be great for small picnics, weekend camping trips and other similar activities, like going to a RATT concert.

Luckily, it’s not in production. Volunteer firefighters around the globe are most like breathing a sigh of relief.

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No, but you’re close. This fucking bulldozer-like Hellchild of a machine is the work of Kai Grundt, a Canadian Metalworker who threw a V8 engine in a snow-blowing machine. Why the excess power? Well it snows quite a bit in Canada and like any sane person, Kai didn’t feel like throwing his back out and shoveling for hours.

So what you really want to know is how many horses this thing has: Four hundred twelve at 6,200 RPM. No word on the amount of torque. To keep his neighbors happy, Kai used a special routing technique to dampen the sound before it exits the machine. Be sure to check out Popular Science’s full write-up on Kai’s machine.

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Zippo is most famous for strong, dependable lighters that get shit lit when you need it most. They’re windproof and are built to last. That’s why when temperatures start to dip into the teens outside, you’re going to want a hand warmer. Zippo offers this striking hand warmer that runs on lighter fluid. It has a fine polished chrome finish and can go for 24 hours without a refill. Not too bad. Only $22 at a local headshop or Spencer’s Gifts near you. I hear gloves still work as well.

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Here’s a great DIY that involves knitting and LittleBigPlanet. Etsy user ShadowsInTheNyte knitted up some winter caps that are all inspired by gaming. There’s a hat inspired by Kirby, one that takes after the famous Final Fantasy Moogle and of course, a brilliant Sackboy hat. It’s just scary how good these hats look when compared to the actual games. There’s one Sackboy hat left and it’s a steal at $21. If you don’t head over and buy it, I might have to.

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Yes! Just in time for winter comes a hat that will surely satisfy your tentacle fetish. They are hats that resemble squid and are handmade by Mike, aka MikeST on Flickr. Two of the tentacles contain mittens; a neat feature on headwear that’s already pretty creative!

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