TAG RESULTS FOR: wine

Unless your trying to pull a Jacko, I don’t know how well Hello Kitty Wine will set the mood for a romantic night in. I know if someone whipped out a bottle of this I’d probably laugh and then run-away in fear of my virgin anus’s innocence. Because everyone knows, if they’re desperate enough to buy Hello Kitty Wine, they’re sure as hell evil enough to own the Hello Kitty Chainsaw. Officially available for purchase on May 1, the creepier... Continue reading

If you don’t think your neighbors would think too kindly of your having a live-in robot posing a wine rack, no worries. This Robot Wine Rack ships with an incognito mustache. Guests will wonder who your new debonair house guest is. Just tell them its your little secret. Of course, the mustache is purely optional, but why not? Lacking a mustache when there’s one available should be a crime. Link [via]

Imagine if you received a bottle of wine as a gift. Not bad, right? Now imagine if the box that the wine came in could turn into a lamp. Yes, you read correctly. That’s how the boxes from Cava wines work. Even a bulb and ballast setup is included so you can light things up from the start. Ease the mood for the ladies, pour a glass of Shiraz and off come the panties. What more could you ask for... Continue reading

Bleak wine corks just don’t do it for me anymore. I need a wine stopper with some flavor, some spice. Something that bares it all without sacrificing the work that a wine stopper provides. Something like this pole dancing stripper wine stopper. She does bare it all and she’ll never fuss about working early mornings or late nights. All she’s looking for are a few dollar bills to be shoved into her panties. Her going rate is $9 dollars, which... Continue reading

When you’re at a kicking party that’s got a ton of free wine and hors d’oeuvres, your hands are bound to be full. With this re-imagined paper clip, however, holding a glass of wine with your dish full of appetizers will leave your other hand free to shake hands and/or grab asses. The Polish design studio Razy2 is calling this paper clip the Kylpsos. Designed by Paulina Krauza and Jacek Ryn, two party freaks who can never have enough free... Continue reading

This morning, time stood still as I came upon this article on how a team of researchers at Rice University in Houston are working to create a beer that could fight cancer and heart disease. They’re genetically engineering a beer that includes resveratrol, a disease-fighting chemical that can been found in red wine. These folks deserve the Nobel Prize in awesomeness. Before now, beer has always been that drink that tasted great, made you feel like a million bucks and... Continue reading

If Tom Joad had some of these grapes, he could have moved out of hicksville and into the Ritz-Carlton or some shit. This bunch of deliciously sweet grapes went for $1000 at a recent auction. For $1000, a hotel owner was able to procure 30 of the sweet, succulent grapes that are a little smaller than a CamBall. These just weren’t any grapes though: The Ruby Roman variety, developed by the Ishikawa Prefecture Agricultural Research Center, was sold to an... Continue reading

Sure, in 1821 Louis Braille created a language for the visually impaired. But did you know it was made famous by mute-extraordinaire Helen Keller? Seems this rare artifact was discovered in some guy’s backyard. It appears to be a wine bottle from Lazarus Wine with braille writing all over it. It adds fuel to my theory that Keller wasn’t mute, but rather was just an angry drunk, slurring her words violently and stumbling around in a drunken haze. After all,... Continue reading

They’ve made thumb drives out of pretty much everything; even Luke Skywalker comes in USB form. Now, snobby wine connoisseurs everywhere can confuse their dozens of wine corks lying around the house for this 1GB USB flash drive. Unfortunately, it doesn’t double as a wine stopper, it just looks like one, so if you happen to mix it up and try to use it as one, you can kiss your data goodbye. Look on the bright side: you can always... Continue reading

If you’ve been known to be a bit of a wino (maybe even perusing your share of fine art), you probably know that allowing the air to hit your wine is an important part of the tasting experience. Sure, sticking a penis in the bottle will stop the air from reaching it too early, but what about when you actually want to drink it? The Vinturi Wine Aerator not only allows the right amount of air to reach your wine,... Continue reading