Gearfuse

There’s not many ways to be perversely snarky on a nude beach. With all of your naughty-bits hanging out, there’s not much you can tell someone that they’ll find risque. If you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, these Anatomic Wetsuits, by Diddo Velema, allow you to appear not only comfortable with your anatomy, but brash enough to show more than what’s skin deep.

Watch as women blush and giggle over your unveiled gluteus maximus muscle (that’s your ass). Your bloodied biceps prove your certainly take care of your body. Oh, and ladies, instant bikini body!

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If you’re in NYC or another major metropolitan area, visit your local Speedo store and check out the packaging for the Fast Skin wetsuit. Inspired by shark skin, each suit comes shoved inside a clear, translucent package that resembles a baby shark egg. Tres chic! I wonder if Michael Phelps uses one…

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The sight of me in a wetsuit is usually enough to clear the beach of most stragglers, leaving me free to change my wetsuit without the worry of being seen with embarrassing sand crack. Since most of you probably don’t have the same problems with your physique, something like the Cinch Sac Wetsuit Bag could help you squeeze out of your surf gear without getting sandy in the process.

Just stand on the bag as you slip out of your suit, then wrap the special bag design around your ankles, and step out onto the sand. That way you don’t have to lay your whole suit in the sand, getting everything you own full of grain in the process. Get an early jump on summer with this $25 gadget. – Andrew Dobrow

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