I’ve always wanted my face printed right on the end of my rubber love glove. Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait until that dream becomes reality. On the other hand, getting a hold of custom FDA approved, lubricated condoms with my face printed on the wrapper is a possible alternative.

“MyFace Condoms” allow you to include your name, picture, a special message or anything else you choose right on the wrapper of your very own cock sock. When you pull it out of your wallet in front of your soon-to-be-banged one night stand, she’ll know you mean business. You never looked much like the Trojan guy, anyway. You can get a pack for yourself at $31.25 for a 25 pack. Remember kids, always bag it up.

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Do you have a small penis? Have you tried every pill known to man that claims to increase male enhancement? Do penis enlargement pumps hurt your manhood? Then you desperately need the PEP (Penis Enlargement Pants). OK, so it’s more like underwear.

No matter, because it still claims to increase the size of your genitalia by stretching your wang while you work, play or just lounge around the house. For $110 well spent on underwear that’ll have the ladies gasping at your overly-stretched and deformed schlong, how could you afford not to buy it?

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