What better way to show your friends what a suicidal psychopath you are with a tie that, although doesn’t look too much like a noose, is called “Neck Noose”. That’s close enough for me. Resembling a broken rope signifying your freedom from the corporate slave market, this tie comes in two flavors: a $40 silk version and a $30 microfiber design. The microfiber comes in an assortment of wacky colors to pronounce to everyone in the work place that you’ll be hanging yourself by the water cooler at around eleven o’ clock.

You’ve got to look your best even on your most glum of days.  If there is anyway to get people at the office to pay attention to you, a noose around the neck would be it.

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It really stinks when you’ve run out of energy for your gadgets and can’t get to an outlet. With Orange’s Dance Charge, outlets are a thing of the past. It’s a portable phone charger powered through the kinetic movement of the wearer. Held within the arm strap is a battery for storing all the dance-generated energy.

So, to build up juice for powering your gadgets, all you need to do is shake your ass and show everyone your sweet dance moves. Though only a prototype, the Dance Charge is sure to come waltzing into the arms of every over-energized Dance Dance Revolution enthusiast in the world.

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What is one to do when they have a love to both cameras, and recycling the old to create the new? Just ask Craig Arnold, leader of the re:vision project, which takes old camera parts, and recycles them into wearable accessories.

Using old cameras to refocus (lol, puns) on a new product allows for the ancient parts to be used in a way which was totally unintended. If you’re a geeky photographer, there is just no excuse not to own at least one camera clothing accessory. — Andrew Dobrow

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Distractions are everywhere. While there have been many attempts at providing us with our own personal space, many fall short, looking totally unpractical. The Body-Laptop Wooly Jumper is exactly one of those sort of creations.

Mixing the ingenuity of the Glovers and the Office Collar, the Wooly Jumper attempts to create your own personal laptop force-field, at the expense of your own stylish pride. — Andrew Dobrow

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Your kid isn’t getting any smaller. Which means there is no going back to their old shoes, it’s always about a new pair, and then a new one, and yet another new one. You  get your kid a pair of new sneakers and the next week they go through a growing spurt which leaves their heels unable to fit into the snug shoe.

InchWorms show accommodate the constantly growing kid by growing along with your child’s foot. The only thing you have to worry about it keeping them interested in the same old design, and making sure they don’t tear a hole in the sole. — Andrew Dobrow

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Grab your baskets, cooler, and your favorite lady, and take a stroll out to the park because picnic planning just got a lot easier. The Spontaneous Picnic Dress doubles as a faux-retro fashion statement for your girl, while offering a place to lounge, eat, and possibly even mix up some drinks if the picnic spirit chooses you for its outdoor eating agenda. Remember to watch out for that meddling Yogi Bear.

Made using 3 food related fabrics (although the dress most likely doesn’t taste very good), the “Buttercup” dress is great for a Spring venture to your favorite picnicking spot. Oh, and not to mention easy access to the va-jay-jay for a little post-lunch fornication. — Andrew Dobrow

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The touchscreen community has been pretty unsympathetic to the fat fingered crowd. For people with sausage sized digits, pressing one key on a touchscreen keypad is usually accompanied with the pressing of a second button and the escape of a fucking expletive from their lips.

The TAD Custom Finger Mod slides a ring on your finger with an attached screen poker for easier keypad navigation for those of us with bloated paws. They offer up to size 0.7-inches, so anything higher than that and you either have to lose some weight or get some dialysis to relieve that water weight. Get yours for $6. — Andrew Dobrow

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When we saw the Safe Turn wrist blinkers for bicyclists, we thought that the blinking bracelet was a effective way of keeping safe on the road. The Turn Signal Glasses might not be the most practical tool for bikers, but for joggers and cautious jaywalkers, they fit the bill pretty well. (more…)

Wearable electronic clothing is nothing new to the tech world, but this is the first time we can recall a company commercially releasing a product specifically made to control your MP3 player through your clothing. The China Coin is a blinking, sparkling wearable control inspired from the old Chinese coins from the Han Dynasty.

The China Coin is 100% washable and is made of a soft polymer for easy integration into clothing. It’s powered directly from your iPod’s battery, so there is no need for any extra battery power, and only uses about 5% of the batteries capacity, which is a small price to pay for a cool lit clothing control device. — Andrew Dobrow

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The IDE Cable belt is almost BEYOND geeky. It’s to the point where if someone notices your belt, they’ll probably think its either made of duct tape or some other cheap material. But “IDE cable” will probably be one of their last guesses, if one were to guess at all.

If getting noticed isn’t important to you and you just feel the need to have your geekiness reaffirmed in your own mind, the IDE belt is a sure fire way to make you feel like you are the nerdiest man alive. Available now for $16. — Andrew Dobrow

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