These damn blood suckers just don’t stop. I get it, you want to make sweet love to my jugular. Get on with it then.
Not the type to put a lot of effort into your Halloween costume? Tie the Insta-Face Bandana across your mug. Instant disguise.
Tonight, when you sit down for your nightly glass of fresh human blood, please remember to follow the rules of basic vampire hygiene. Nobody likes to walk in to a musky study to find a man with a blood mustache. It just wouldn’t be fair to any visitors.
The Blood Mustache t-shirt illustrates the ugly result of forgetting a napkin as you sip away at your latest kill. Please, for the love of Satan, drink safely and always have a designated slayer.
Don’t get your head too far up in the clouds. This mug knows how the world works, and it ain’t pretty. In a jest action for those who think the glass is half full, this mug verifies to the optimists that they are so wrong.
Apparently the owner of the pictured mug is a vampire. Or is an alcoholic, and covers his habit by drinking his wine from a mug. No, it’s not fruit juice. You and your damn optimism. — Andrew Dobrow
