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Blackout: Spies Penetrate US Electrical Grid

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If your television goes out, you might want to hold off on calling your electric company. The situation could be out of their hands. In fact, the reason why your electricity just went out could be because of Chinese and Russian spies who have infiltrated the US electrical grid. Said spies planted malicious software inside the grid and had it gone undetected, we’d all be super fucked right about now.

To get a look inside grid-warfare, check out the Wall Street Journal’s piece on the recent hack attack.

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America, The Great (Bookshelf)

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I was going to rewrite the lyrics to “The Star Spangled Banner” but decided against it. It’s better that way. For the both of us.

But yeah! Wow! What a bookshelf, right? Staying true to the lower 48, this United States of Readmerica bookshelf is awesome. It was made by Ron Arad and is titled “Oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends.” Know what? That’s a stupid fucking name for such a cool bookshelfi told u. Way to ruin it for the rest of us, asshole.

Just kidding. I want it. Make me one, Ron? I don’t have money but I’ll give you my lovin’.

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Musicians Complain About Guantanamo Bay Treatment

So here’s the deal: since 2003, the US Army has been effectively torturing detainees at Guantanamo with scare tactics and other jazz. One of the tactics is to blast music and rock and roll at prisoners “to create fear, disorient … and prolong capture shock.” Everything was peachy keen until this year, when several musicians teamed up to protest the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. Artists like Massive Attack and Tom Morello are trying to create awareness for this issue.

One prisoner says he to listen to Dr. Dre and Eminem for 20 days.. Listening to rap for a few weeks doesn’t sound too bad to me. For Ryan, it’d most certainly be torture.

Budweiser Salutes The Flag

Despite not being a huge fan of the taste of Budweiser beer, I must admit it’s got balls as big as Irish girls ass. Budweiser is brewing a new American Ale as a gift for the rest of the world to relish in yeasty malty goodness. On the 29th this homage to American brewing will be purchasable in stores so you can binge drink the great old American way. Well, America isn’t that old, but we’re getting there! So here’s to Budweiser, for kicking it old school! U-S-A

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World of Warcraft Terror Plots Uncovered?

Boing Boing Gadgets has an interesting write-up on how Blizzard’s World of Warcraft is being used as a tool for practicing terrorism on our home turf. In this case, a particular raid is modified to reflect an attack on the White House.

[T]wo World of Warcraft players discuss a raid on the “White Keep” inside the “Stonetalon Mountains.” The major objective is to set off a “Dragon Fire spell” inside, and make off with “110 Gold and 234 Silver” in treasure. “No one will dance there for a hundred years after this spell is cast,” one player, “war_monger,” crows.
Except, in this case, the White Keep is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. “Dragon Fire” is an unconventional weapon. And “110 Gold and 234 Silver” tells the plotters how to align the game’s map with one of Washington, D.C.

Seems kind of silly until you realize that it’s probably true and actually could be used to help promote terrorism. Hit the link for the full skinny on the terror plot the Pentagon uncovered.

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Olympic Fireworks Digitally Altered

The Olympics are in full swing and even though those commie bastards from China cut our national anthem short during Phelps’ award ceremony, we still know the USA rules. Apparently, some of the people in China really do have small dicks, because according to a report from The Beijing Times, people watching the opening ceremony from home were treated to a 55-second CGI graphics sequence. Thought those fireworks were real? Not even close.

Speaking to The Beijing Times, an advisor to the Beijing Olympic Committee (BOCOG) defended the decision: “It would have been prohibitive to have tried to film it live,” he said.
“We could not put the helicopter pilot at risk by making him try to follow the firework route.”

So when you see Michael Phelps being eaten by a mutant dinosaur and Chinese gymnasts flying 100-feet above the stadium, remember to keep the computer trickery in mind.
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2009 Harley Davidson V-Rod Muscle

If you’re a real American, you buy American. Nothing beats a true Harley Davidson for touring the country, getting laid and fucking people up in bar fights. The new 2009 V-Rod Muscle motorcycle continues that tradition while also raising the bar for badass bikes everywhere.

You’ll find a liquid-cooled 1250cc Revolution V-Twin engine that outputs ~122 HP and 86 ft lbs of torque at 6500 RPMs. Check out the styling though. Specifically, the Brembo brakes, 240mm rear tire, dual straight shot side pipe exhausts and a generally clean look overall. At $18,000 it’s one of the most expensive motorcycles on the consumer market.

…but you know it’s so worth it.
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Dragon Skin Body Armor

One thing most of us can agree on is that our troops overseas deserve only the finest body armor available. Their lives are at jeopardy in order to protect our freedoms, so we’d like to see everyone return home safe and sound. Soldiers could really use some of this Dragon Kin body armor from Pinnacle Armor. You can detonate an M67 grenade in point blank range and it won’t penetrate through the materials. It’s flexible so you can easily move around, which is essential during a fire fight. AK-47, M4 and MP5 rifles have also been tested on it with fantastic results. Hopefully, we’ll soon see US troops wearing the Dragon Skin standard. In the meantime, looks like they’ll have to order some BUILT backpacks and double up on those.

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This Grill Cooks Both Meat and Irony

Let me tell you something, you silly goose. Grilling isn’t a way of cooking, it’s a way of survival. As in, if I don’t eat a fucking burger in the next 45 minutes, I’m going to die of starvation. At least I think so. Either way, you need the Longhorn Steer Grill. It’s not just a grill, it’s a grill shaped like a steer/bull. Think of the possibilities: parties, bar mitzvahs and so much more. You can even put a cowboy hat on the cow and everyone will laugh at your carefully crafted joke. Yeah, you’re that good.

Made by Traeger Grills, the Longhorn Steer Grill isn’t for the grilling novice who can’t appreciate the taste of Lea & Perrins. A grill that goes for $1700 demands the utmost respect and patience. In time, you’ll find that with the right amount of beef and concentration, your stomach can swell to over six hundred times its regular size. At least that’s what my uncle told me.

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True Patriot: Collecting Video Games for Troops

If you want to do your part and help out some of the troops fighting overseas like a true patriot, we suggest sending them some video games. Not only are they a great outlet for stress, we hear they’re also fun to play.

CheapAssGamer is continuing an existing drive to collect video games for US troops, so if you have some extra titles that you’ve beaten or don’t want to play, send them to some people who could really use them. After all, they’re protecting your right to play video games, no matter what the political agenda. Hit the link to get more information.

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