TAG RESULTS FOR: unicorn

Unicorns are graceful, gorgeous and delicious, and they also happen to have no sense of humor. Take a comedic jab at a unicorn and you can expect two feet of pure horn right through your chest. The Avenging Unicorn toy comes with a collection of four different horns and three victims, including a mime. Sadly, no hipsters are included. You can get your own Avenging Unicorn toy for $14.99, or you can take the riskier path and wrangle your own... Continue reading

I love Fridays. And unicorns. But most of all Batman. Oh, oh and robots! Again, I love Fridays. The “Batman riding a robot unicorn” print was being sold on Etsy but has since been sold out. Who knows, you might get another shot. Link [via]

Wild unicorns aren’t always as couth as their farm-raised meaty counterparts. They haven’t been to exposed to the proper way unicorns should act. For one, it is always inappropriate to skid your ass against the ground, no matter how magical the said ass might be. But with that being said, I wonder if its possible to rent a wild unicorn for the weekend. I’d love to redecorate my house on the cheap, and my floors could really use some brightening... Continue reading

Apparently Unicorn Meat is making an appearance in grocery stores nowadays. Not a big surprise. Such an abundant source of protein and magic is hard to come by. It’ll be so much more convenient making my grocery run now when I’m making my trademark Unicorn and Peanut Sauce with a Dried Apricot Demi-Glace dish. Link [via]

And now back to our usual scheduled programming. I’m really trying to bulk up my muscles for the summer. Gotta look good in my mankini! I just get so sick of the same old protein sources every single day. Chicken, eggs, more chicken, even more eggs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a man who loves his eggs, but mostly when they’re fried in a lake of butter, served with a side of bacon. Now here’s a source of protein I... Continue reading

With Summer just around the bend, it’s that time of the year again. Time to start BBQ planning. This year, we’re going for a fantasy-theme. But what should we serve with our centaur burgers? Unicorn on the Cob, of course. Shove the horn right into the core of the cob and chomp away. If you’re too cheap to splurge on the $7.99 set of of Uni-Corn Corn Holders, you can always just use your Unikeys. Just make sure you don’t... Continue reading

Unicorn horns aren’t just ground up into a powder and used as aphrodisiacs any more. Now there’s a practical use for fictional animal parts. You know you’ve found your unicorn soul mate when its horn can start your fricken’ car or magically open the door to your home and steal all of your goods when you’re not looking let you inside without a fuss. Link

The tooth fairy is one elusive creature. While Santa Claus’s identity is well known, the Tooth Fairy remains anonymous and mysterious, sometimes taking the form of a mythical fairy, other times resembling a full-sized woman. In my dreams, the toothfairy looks something like this Unicornasaurus. Can’t you see this big guy sneaking into your room, tapping your pillow with his little wand and magically modifying your parent’s memory so they think they put that dollar bill under your head. Sneaky…... Continue reading

While I’m not sure we can call this the coolest beanie we’ve ever seen (because let’s be honest, we’ve seen some really awesome beanies), it’s definitely the only one that would make you feel at home inside of a fantasy novel. The homemade Magic Unicorn Beanie gives the wearer a new phallic member and a generous mane of purpleish pink fur. If you happen to go searching for Candy Mountain, I don’t think you’ll get even a second glance as... Continue reading