Made using ABS, a material just as strong as steel, the $180 Unbreakable Umbrella is equally apt to protect you from the elements and viciously slice attacking fruit. Surprisingly, it only weighs 787 grams, despite its strength.
After spending so much cash on x-rays, they usually wind up in some abandoned file, strewn in a closet or junk drawer. Take advantage of your old lady osteoporosis bones and at least use them for something. It might not be the most polite umbrella, but it’s something.
Hope you have good medical insurance! You’ll need it to save up for this bad boy.
Rainy days usually mean crashing into other people brandishing massive umbrellas, large enough to fit an entire obese family under, yet being used by only one person. These collisions usually cause droplets of water to fall everywhere, often splashing onto your clothes and skin. Kind of defeats the purpose.
The Polite Umbrella accounts for other people’s ostentatious overly large umbrellas. Pull the yank string and your umbrella temporarily collapses around you, allowing you to squeeze past others.
Here in New York City, when it rains, it pours. The rain comes down, the wind howls at 50 MPH and everything seems to sit still in time as you fight the storm in an effort to get home. If you’re using a cheap store-bought umbrella, chances are it broke 10 minutes ago. The SENZ Storm Umbrella fixes that. Its angular design lets it withstand winds up to 70 MPH and it can even take a beating from hailstorms. At $83, it may seem like an expensive purchase, but look at it as more of a preventive instrument.
Here’s an umbrella guaranteed to please whether on drugs or not. Designed by Squid London, this umbrella features a special material that changes color when it’s wet. Beautiful, no? Don’t get it near your mistress in the heat of the moment or your wife is clearly going to find out.
Shitty title, but whatever. This is an impressive work of art from artist Sam Spenser. He calls his creation “Bloom” and I think it’s quite an appropriate title for a guy who shoved what looks like 50 umbrellas into a tree. It’s kind of beautiful but also a little on the weird side. Know what I mean? It just doesn’t feel….complete?
Have you played any of the games in the Resident Evil series? No? Then skip to another post.
For the rest of us, ThinkGeek is offering up an umbrella that would make Leon shit his pants with fear any day of the week. It’s a sturdy red and white umbrella that resembles the logo of the Umbrella Corporation. You know, the same one that created the T-Virus that wiped out Raccoon City. Classy. It can be yours for a mere $15 but the sex you’ll get from using it is priceless. And by priceless, I mean nothing.
On some days, it rains and rains until a flood surrounds us and nothing is left but water. We walk through crowds of people to our jobs, staying inside a cubicle for hours until leaving to return home. The next day, the process is repeated and it continues to rain. Nothing new can come with the rain. Nothing dry. It is, in essence, the ending of all mankind.
Except you’re on the Moon! Schweet! There isn’t any rain on the Moon but should it happen, you’ll be one prepared motherfucker with this non-Bluetooth umbrella.
Found at Yanko Design, this Bluetooth Umbrella from Mikhail Stawsky is about as ridiculous as it gets. While you’re using your umbrella in a downpour, you can take a call with the built-in Bluetooth headset. This way you can talk into your umbrella handle during a downpour with wind blowing all around you. Makes a ton of sense.
Tell you what. Since Mikhail’s design isn’t even real, here’s how you can make a Bluetooth Umbrella:
-Procure umbrella and Bluetooth headset
-Procure 3M water-resistant tape of some sort
-Tape headset to umbrella
-Enjoy
For a smoker, catching a cig before work is a must whether the weather be rain or shine. Some of us can’t find a dry area half the time and if you’re in Seattle, forget it. In comes the Smoker’s Umbrella to save the day. Equipped with a clip-on ashtray, you’ll be able to keep dry and puff down without the rain invading your personal space.
About $20, the umbrella even comes in a cigarette-shaped tin to get the message across. It’s a nearly perfect umbrella. The only thing missing is a built-in lighter.
