TAG RESULTS FOR: umbrella

My dog took one look at this thing and very frankly told me, “There is absolutely no fricken’ way I’m wearing that thing,” except she didn’t exactly use the word fricken’. And in a way, I don’t blame her. She’s told me before that, much like me, she see’s anything more than Yoda Costumes as crossing the line. I respect that. But she also needs to take my needs into consideration. She doesn’t realize that the smell of wet dog... Continue reading

Cower in fear mere mortal droplets of precipitation. Hark, your arch-nemesis has arrived. The Broadsword Umbrella protects any noble knight from their moist destiny. The clouds shall not unleash their condensed wrath without a fight. The Broadsword Umbrella goes perfect with any gentlemanly attire, but it probably looks pretty cool in the nude too. Get your very own for $39.99.

I try to shave my head as often as possible. I’m insecure about my ever-growing bald spot so I like to keep it pretty close. Thank God I haven’t resorted to Flair Hair quite yet. The problem is that if I forget to do it every few days, the mess gets increasingly harder to clean up. And frankly, I just don’t have that kind of time. While the Haircut Umbrella might make me look absolutely ridiculous, I mean, the thing... Continue reading

Even Batman hates getting rained on. Despite the fact that his suit is almost definitely water proof and resistant to any moisture period, there’s still something about rain that pisses Bruce Wayne off. The Bat-umbrella is the perfect gadget to add to his arsenal in order to protect himself from the annoying element which is rainfall. Not to mention the dreadful attack watermelons. Link [via]

I’m not typically the paranoid type, but using an umbrella that encourages tracking is not usually my bag, baby. But at least you’ll never truly lose your place again. The You Are Here Umbrella gives Google Earth a nice target to help you locate your global position. If you’re lost in a mall parking lot and have a few spare weeks to wait while Google updates their maps, this umbrella will let you know exactly where you are.

Made using ABS, a material just as strong as steel, the $180 Unbreakable Umbrella is equally apt to protect you from the elements and viciously slice attacking fruit. Surprisingly, it only weighs 787 grams, despite its strength. Link [via]

After spending so much cash on x-rays, they usually wind up in some abandoned file, strewn in a closet or junk drawer. Take advantage of your old lady osteoporosis bones and at least use them for something. It might not be the most polite umbrella, but it’s something. Hope you have good medical insurance! You’ll need it to save up for this bad boy.

Rainy days usually mean crashing into other people brandishing massive umbrellas, large enough to fit an entire obese family under, yet being used by only one person. These collisions usually cause droplets of water to fall everywhere, often splashing onto your clothes and skin. Kind of defeats the purpose. The Polite Umbrella accounts for other people’s ostentatious overly large umbrellas. Pull the yank string and your umbrella temporarily collapses around you, allowing you to squeeze past others. Link [via]

Here in New York City, when it rains, it pours. The rain comes down, the wind howls at 50 MPH and everything seems to sit still in time as you fight the storm in an effort to get home. If you’re using a cheap store-bought umbrella, chances are it broke 10 minutes ago. The SENZ Storm Umbrella fixes that. Its angular design lets it withstand winds up to 70 MPH and it can even take a beating from hailstorms. At... Continue reading

Here’s an umbrella guaranteed to please whether on drugs or not. Designed by Squid London, this umbrella features a special material that changes color when it’s wet. Beautiful, no? Don’t get it near your mistress in the heat of the moment or your wife is clearly going to find out. Link