Despite this woman’s smug look, this could be considered animal cruelty. If it is, it’s perhaps the coolest-looking animal cruelty out there. It would take an impeccable amount of grooming skill to style your dogs hair in order to make it look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. In this case, its Leonardo.

Cleverly dubbed “Leonardoodle,” this poor dog is forced to bend to its master’s will, even if that means looking ridiculous. Hey, I love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just as much as the next guy, maybe even more. That doesn’t mean you’ll find me shaving my dog down to the skin to make it look like Splinter.

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When you’re the last female of your kind and you have three willing males ready to inseminate you with their love seed, isn’t it your obligation to lay at least one of them? Not according to the last female Yangtze giant soft-shell turtle. She’s a stubborn little lard whose vagina is so full of sand, she’d rather face extinction than get laid. Talk about priority issues.

Though the fate of the Yangtze giant soft-shell turtle is uncertain, one could always look to cloning as an alternative to revitalizing the gene pool. Listen, a crabby cunt will always be a crabby cunt. There’s no use forcing the lady to mate. I’m pretty sure that’s called rape.

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Everybody, it’s time to take a break from hacking your Xbox 360 to do things that make Microsoft want to cry. Take a break from adding that new HDTV tuner and gather around. Look at these shoes! Run Athletics is making an attempt at broadening its target market with these awesome Nintendo gaming shoes. These sweet kicks have a very clean design that allows them to look like some normal, stylish shoes if you don’t pay too much attention. But if you do take to time to get up-close, you will find that there are tons of Nintendo characters in blue, and the iconic Mario “M” on the tongue of the shoe. See those stars? Just think of the music, you know, the invincibility music that lets you run around killing every turtle and goombas in your sight. Every time you looks at your new shoes, you can hear that sweet sound. As said before, these shoes don’t stand out as being particularly hideous like so many other things that companies try to do to appeal to gamers. These have some style and class to them, and the real treats are for those who recognize the stars in grey. — Nik Gomez

Nintendo kicks turn your feet into retro gaming showcase [via Joystiq]