Gearfuse

I’ve always wanted my face printed right on the end of my rubber love glove. Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait until that dream becomes reality. On the other hand, getting a hold of custom FDA approved, lubricated condoms with my face printed on the wrapper is a possible alternative.

“MyFace Condoms” allow you to include your name, picture, a special message or anything else you choose right on the wrapper of your very own cock sock. When you pull it out of your wallet in front of your soon-to-be-banged one night stand, she’ll know you mean business. You never looked much like the Trojan guy, anyway. You can get a pack for yourself at $31.25 for a 25 pack. Remember kids, always bag it up.

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How is a guy honestly supposed to know that what he’s got packin’ beneath his loin cloth will fit in a Trojan Magnum? There’s no size declared on the box. These companies leave you to trial-and-error until you find the perfect fit. Well that isn’t the case anymore.  Scientists from Condom Consultancy in Germany have invented a revolutionary spray on condom that pumps liquid latex onto your cock and then dries within 20-25 seconds to become a condom.

They hope to cut the solidifying time down by 10 seconds because after 20-25 seconds of you staring down at your own penis, waiting for the condom to form, you’re bound to lose your edge.  See what even the faintest of distractions can do to a man, even in the heat of passion?
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