If your dog suddenly starts showing up at home smelling of cigar smoke and brandy, it might be using one of these Mustache Chew Toys. When bitten just right, it makes your dog look like a dignified British diplomat. Hilarity ensues.
Apparently, symptoms also include a slight brown discoloration of a nipple or two. Seriously, what the hell is with that. You’d think they’d screen these models.
Disney has already scooped up Marvel and their massive catalog 5,000 comic book characters. But what if Disney moved onto greener pastures and started scooping up toy companies as well? If Hasbro was picked up by Disney, we might start seeing plenty of more toys like this.
The Donald Duck Transformer is both nightmarish (as you contemplate the possible future) and actually, sort of, dare we say, neat? Your second favorite animated duck (because everyone loves Daffy) starts out as an average Bug mobile. But make this duck angry and you’ll feel the unmitigated wrath of pure animated robot rage.
Cuddly isn’t exactly a word I would usually use to describe Darth Vader. Sure, he had strong arms and broad shoulders, but that’s beyond the point. He’s just not the cuddling type. Now Chewy on the other hand. He could be my cuddle partner any night.
That’s right, I like my Wookies just like I prefer my women; rough and hairy. These Star Wars Cuddle Toys allow me to not only cuddle with Darth AND Chewy, but also Yoda AND R2-D2. Oh, sweet metallic cuddly gods, thank you.
There’s a new trend gliding through the air and it smells like pony shit. The last few weeks have produced some of the coolest gaming mash-up toys we’ve ever seen, thanks to the integration of popular game characters and My Little Pony dolls. We’ve seen a bunch in the last weeks, but we can honestly say this has become some sort of awesome trend. Don’t fuck it up hipsters!
This Hayabusa Halo My Little Pony doll might not be as cool as a Master Chief doll, but it still has that angular Halo aesthetic that the ladies just go gaga over (not really).
First we saw a zombie pony. Then we posted about Gears of War and Zelda-inspired My Little Pony dolls. Now, we have the privilege to introduce the Silent Hill-themed Pony dolls, available on eBay. Specifically, these two Little Ponies are inspired by the Pyramid Head and Zombie Nurse characters.
The current bid is $32, but there is eight days left and already three bidders at press time. So if you want one of these, I’d bid high and often.
This Transformer mash-up toy is built using discarded Thomas the Tank Engine toys. Composed of Thomas and some of his best train friends, Thomas the Transformer is a locomotive Frankenstein monster.
Included on this Transformer are Thomas himself, his green friend Percy and the red engine James. This excellent toy sold on the Singapore eBay site for only S$10. Do want!
These Star Wars Computer Sitter Bobble Heads are doomed into an existence where most of their time is spent staring down on masturbating geeks. Most of these geeks are likely male in sexual persuasion and it’s probably a fair statement that many are overweight.
From the standpoint of a chubby geek blogger who spends plenty of time masturbating to still frames of Chewbacca Princess Leia, I can attest my utmost sympathy to these little guys. Available in both Yoda and Darth Vader flavors, each bobble head will set you back $9.99.
The Slinky, being one of the most popular toys of the 20th century, can hardly just walk down any public street like any other run of the mill toy. Poor Slinky would be mobbed by adoring fans.
In an attempt to live a half normal life, the Slinky as been forced to disguise itself as a light fixture. See what you people have done? The Slinky Light is pretty much a normal slinky, attached end to end, with an upside down uplighter bulb thrown in-between.
I didn’t know that the Army of Two franchise was such a huge hit but apparently, it’s enough a cash cow for EA that it’s decided to create some sweet-lookin’ action figures based on the game’s characters. I wish these were around when I was a kid. Look at the detail on these fuckers. Toy maker NECA really knows how to make a decent figure.
