Sony has launched two new laptops that are so technologically advanced that even the tech-savvy Jerry Seinfeld has to get his hands on one. The VAIO VGN-CS180J/R and VGN-NR485E/L are their names and it just makes me wonder why computers can’t be named in the same manner that cars are. The Sony VAIO Panther would be much easier to bring up in a conversation than the mindfuck of a name that is the VGN-CS180J/R.

The one pictured above is the NS series. It’s packing a 2.0 Ghz Intel Core 2 Duo CPU, a 15.4″ display, 200GB hard drive and 4GB of memory all for around $600. Not bad.  There is also the CS series, where smaller means pricier seems to be the motto. The specs are about the same but this display is only 14.1″ and the price starts at around $920. Both laptops have an add-on feature for a Blu-ray, which increases the price to a little above a grand.  Also, no Sony VAIO would be complete without a slew of colors to choose from, just remember to choose based upon your gender and not your sexual orientation.  I don’t care what anyone says, pink is not the new black. Purple is.

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Remember the Toshiba A2DP headphones? Those were tight, right? Wrong! They’re missing one of the most important factors of becoming quality headphones: Dr. Dre’s name. If you want headphones to sell, you need to slap a famous rapper’s name on it. Forget Bluetooth headphones like the Bluetrak ST1; those sell about as well as Funkmaster Flex’s driving shoes. And you bet your ass the doctor’s headphones have high definition sound.

There ain’t nothing urban about Bluetooth technology, kid. There are only two things in this world that are urban: Dr. Dre and headphones with his name on it. The Doctor’s headphones will be available on July 25th for $349.95, a price only a true gangsta would pay.

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