Not really much of a surprise, but a 13-year-old girl won the LG National Texting Contest, beating the previous winner, a 21-year-old male, in the final round and winning the $25,000 grand prize. Morgan Pozgar of Claysburg, PA, who sends 8,000 texts a month (goddamn!), won by texting “Supercalifragilisticexpialidoucious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough you’ll always sound precocious,” with no spelling errors in the fastest time.

Pretty damn impressive if you ask me. That’s one tech-savvy little girl. I wonder how the runner-up feels. Pure ownage on Morgan’s part. We’re thinking some of that grand prize will go to her parents to pay for that damn cellphone bill. And if not, meet America’s Top Brat as well. — Andrew Dobrow

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