Have no respect for yourself? Excellent. You’ll surely be interested in Michel de Broin’s Dumpster Hot Tub. He essentially took your standard, disgusting dumpster and modified it into a hot tub. It’s a very odd mod and I don’t know what to think of it. I mean, I’m sure it’s relaxing but I’d feel pretty gross hanging out inside a dumpster.
Fuck it. My muscles need loosening up. Who’s in?
Not every kid can swim like Michael Phelps, though every kid ought to. Parents, we understand. Sometimes you just don’t feel like sitting around watching the kids splash the water from the safety of dry land. After all, if they aren’t winning Olympic gold, what’s the point? That’s exactly why you bought the Safety Turtle Wireless Pool Security System for $167, effectively putting a price tag on your child’s life. Now you don’t have to worry about your kids drowning in a pool just because you were too busy doing the latest New York Times crossword puzzle.
It’s easy to use, too. Just plug the base station in and it will work in all directions up to 200 feet away. If the turtle sensor is submerged, the base station let’s out a wail that painfully reminds you of what a negligent parent you are. The creators of the Safety Turtle are not liable for any loss of life due to your lack of practice with CPR.
“HAI! I IS MICHAEL PHELPS. ISN’T THIS COOL? I’M USING A COMPUTER UNDERWATER AND HAVE MICHIGAN’S LOGO TATTOO’D TO MAH DICK! O, SNAP. I USE TEH IMACS.”
He really isn’t all that photogenic.
After winning 8 gold medals, the amazing Michael Phelps has been compared to just about every oceanic life form existing on our planet. Yes, Michael Phelps has even been compared to a sea urchin. Of course this has led to an epidemic of Phelps apparel that everyone and their mother will be adorning for the next 30 years or more.
Fashionablygeek.com has compiled an assortment of Phelps t-shirts and gear (including the $500 swimsuit). So, show your support and grab the one that suits your style best. Then when Phelps takes gold at London in 2012, you can claim you’ve been a fan long before Beijing.
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Oliver Bishop-Young, a Goldsmiths University graduate, demonstrated projects regarding skips at the New Designers showcase in London earlier this month. For those not familiar with a skip or what it is, simply put: it’s a dumpster. With the massive amount of idle skips laying around the city and all the crap we throw into landfills, we might as well get something out of it.
So, Oliver set up a website that allows visitors to search for locations of skips throughout London, complete with pictures. Additionally, a group of folks have pitched in converting empty skips into public spaces such as lounge areas, swimming pools and gardens. Even a mini-ramp built in a skip for skateboarding was made from a collection of materials gathered from other skips. All that’s missing is the skip crapper.
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The next time I go swimming, I want one of these Submergency Balls to play with. You can set it to sink or float to any depth in the water. Throw it in and try to find it before the timer goes off and it starts flashing. The ball even blends in with the water, thanks to the aqua blue coloring.
With no player limits and basic fun stretched to the max, the Submergency Ball is ideal for anyone over the age of 6 looking to have a good time in the pool. Pick it up for $20 and be ready to plunk down $5 more for AAA batteries.
